To be honest, I haven't been posting as much as I wanted to recently. There were a lot of things that I had to focus on like my job and my little girl. The only free time I get it is when I take short breaks during my work time. This free time I spend studying up on coding or trying to look at the trading charts even though they don't make sense to me. :P
Most of the time while walking home at night my thoughts seem to wander. I start thinking about the past, the what ifs and the whatnots. There are a lot of things that went wrong in my life, some that I had control over while others that were out of my control. I think about some of my childhood friends and how most of them that I still have contact with are living much better lives compared to me.
I am not envious of them because I know they worked hard to get to the point they are and grabbed the opportunities that came their way. I wish them an even better fortune in the future to be honest and pray that nothing messes their lives up. There are just those moments where I look at their pictures on the social media platforms and I think to myself...will I ever be able to have those moments with my family. I do all the things that I can in order to get by for the month and barely have any savings so to me that looks like an impossible dream.
Who knows maybe in the future things might start looking different when I finally understand programming better and am able to apply it. For now, I guess I will just be mulling over these thoughts for a long time, and keep trying to work hard in order to provide all the things that I can. I just wanted to write about what I was feeling these past few days so that maybe someone might cheer me on with their words of encouragement or probably just to get some things off my shoulder.
Thank you for reading through my long boring post ranting about things. Much love to you all <3
Kyrios.
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