Thanks for the courage to admit your truth. I recently wrote a post about Etika and suicide which you might find interesting.

Etika Reminder Suicide is Not a Panacea

I hope you seek help as you need it; and stand by your decision to walk away from social media for a time. It's important to control things, and not let things control you.

Etika alluded to being consumed by social media in his 'farewell' video.

I totally get your feeling of burnout. I can imagine how devastating it is to grow a YT success only to have it shut down, especially at the millennial stage.

Stand your ground against things that are attempting to 'own' you.

Peace.