TL:DR - There are three sections to this post: Mental Health, Steem Blog and TIMM Blog. The latter provides a brief synopsis of what to expect moving forward. I am a former poker player, former financial advisor, and current full time trader. Follow me on TIMM for the Bitcoin Daily Update & keep an eye out for the following posts: Comprehensive Trading Process | ‘Sawcruhteez Trading Strategy’ | ‘Trading Strategy for Parabolic Markets’
I started the original Steem blog a few weeks after being released from the mental hospital. What began as a way to share poetry and TA quickly turned into a blog about mental health, lifestyle, balance, education, personal goals and trading.
Mental Health
Sharing my poetry and committing to a consistent routine greatly helped keep my mind stimulated while in the process of recovering from recent losses and changes in my personal life. It all started in February of 2017 when my father passed away from lung cancer. We were very close and after the funeral I realized that he was the only person who has ever truly understood me.
When I needed someone to talk to he was the only person I could trust. He would always know what to say in order to make me feel better or light a fire under my ass. Whereas conversations with my mom would usually result in a recommendation to see a psychologist and/or get some medication.
Eight months later I found myself struggling with the decision of selling my financial services agency in order to focus on trading full time. I called my dad's best friend, whom I have known my entire life. After hearing what I had to say he said exactly what I needed to hear:
"You have to follow your heart"
I submitted the paperwork the next morning. I was tremendously excited to begin a new career but was also terrified of failing. That fear caused me to burn the wick at both ends.
I disconnected with my friends and family while pulling all nighters and trading 80 - 100+ hours per week. I was working as hard as I could to make something out of my life while it felt like everyone else was trying to hold me back.
Conversations with friends would often end with them asking:
"Are you okay?"
It seemed at the time that the only friend I had left in the world was my dog, Plato.
Nobody else was there for me like he was.
Plato passed away shortly thereafter in November. That is when everything came crashing down and it became impossible to hide from my loneliness/depression. I questioned the meaning of life, fasted for days on end and often went days without drinking water. I had multiple near death experiences and then I started to contemplate suicide. I quit trading all together. Heck I didn’t even look at a Bitcoin price chart for weeks (maybe months).
I went to a psychologist and when he asked me why I was there I replied: "I just need someone to talk to"
After three sessions he thought the best solution would be to recommend 10mg's of Adderall per day. I couldn't think of anywhere else to turn other than what had saved me in the past:
marijuana, music, and art
I completely lost touch with reality. I started hallucinating from the lack of sleep. I started talking to myself. I eventually started talking to the computer as if there was someone on the other end listening. I started writing in code words/symbols.
I focused on reading people’s minds instead of talking to them. I went to the grocery store and felt unworthy of eating. I left my car in a public parking lot, unlocked the doors and left the keys on the ground because I felt the need to let go of my worldly possessions. I didn't pay my mortgage for the same reason.
After a while I could not distinguish reality from the cyberspace. I wrote the following poem to describe my thoughts at that time:
"Virtual Reality"
Trying to formulate a thought that my ancestors forgot.
Trolls asking what I brought, because I promised the lot
For this knowledge that I sought.
“Can I sleep on your cot until I stable my thoughts?
For I am the last can in this land full of nots
and I can’t tell what’s man in this scam full of bots!"
Then one day I ordered an Uber to take me to get some food. I couldn't remember the last time I ate or had something to drink and I needed a ride since I had already 'let go' of my car. It caught me off guard when he offered his number and told me to call him if I needed someone to talk to. I had taken plenty of Uber’s in the past, but I had never had that happen before. Now it felt like there was someone in this world that I could trust.
I called him the next day and we had the following conversation:
“If I buy you a cheeseburger at Wendy’s would you be able to tell me that I am a good person?”
“I think you need help”
“Can you help me?”
“That is above my pay-grade. Let me call someone who can.”
"Okay but only if you come too!"
I sat on the front porch and waited. I was excited when I saw him driving around the corner but that feeling dissipated when I noticed the police car that followed. The officer put me in the back of his car and drove me to the emergency room. That hospital might as well have been a jail cell.
After arriving they assured me that I wouldn’t be leaving any time soon and the nurse made sure to point out the two officers who were guarding my door. They were just as quick to offer an assortment of pills and diagnoses. While trying to make myself comfortable on the hospital bed I could hear them talking about transferring me to facilities 300+ miles away. It felt like being the only innocent person in jail. I was consumed with the thought:
“Why am I here and what do I have to do in order to get myself out of this place?”
I grasped for something that would provide me with a semblance of identity. I remember falling asleep while mumbling to myself:
“My name is Sawcruhteez. I am who I am because I have three blankets and I respect women”
I remember having thoughts of MK Ultra and wondered how much mind control must have progressed since then. I became afraid of what they are currently conditioning me for.
I was transferred to a different facility less than a mile away. After meeting with countless psychologists I was allowed to leave a day earlier than expected. All in all I was only there for 3 days, but they were the longest 3 days of my life. It felt like I was an experiment or that they were trying to keep me talking until I confessed to something.
As it turned out all that I needed was a good night sleep, something to eat and most importantly... a hug.
Click Here for my original introduction post which was posted a few weeks after being released.
Steem Blog
Shortly thereafter I started posting a daily update of the 1 hour Bitcoin chart. I made a commitment to post the daily update every day for 1 month. I wasn’t sure what I would get out of it but I figured it would lead to something. If nothing else I was hoping for it to provide a foundation for my new daily routine.
I continued to write poetry and also started recording it. I recorded 29 tracks on Soundcloud and wrote/recorded a 54 page book of poems that I hope to publish some day.
To my surprise there was still multiple hours left in the day so I decided to make another commitment. This one was more of a personal challenge than anything else:
“However difficult life may seem there is always something you can do and succeed at. It matters that you don’t just give up” -Stephen Hawking
That was started on March 5th, 2018 and I was aiming to accomplish the goal by June 30th. Shortly after starting the challenge I had a nasty drawdown to 0.042 BTC. If it wasn’t for that I might have been able to accomplish my target of +1,000% in less than 4 months.
Since the draw down I have managed to find a good groove. At the time of this writing it is August 24th and I just closed out my short positions on ETH:BTC and ETH:USD from a few weeks prior. Those trades netted +118% and +76.74% respectively (5X leverage).
The current tally of my bankroll is 0.52218 BTC for a total ROI of +522% in slightly less than 6 months. I am +1,243% in the 5 months that followed the drawdown to 0.042 BTC.
At first I thought I could achieve this goal and now I know that I will refuse to quit until I do! Afterwards it will be remembered as one of my greatest life accomplishments, based on where I started and where it has taken me.
For those that already know me and haven’t seen me around for a while it is because I was banned from Steemit due to being accused of plagiarism. @Steemcleaners demanded that I, “link to Steemit from my Trading View account” in order to prove ownership of the content and gave me less than a week to comply. Linking to another website is against Trading View’s house rules, so I did not abide with the request and was promptly banned.
That happened in the same week that my grandmother passed away, my little brother had emergency surgery to remove a blockage from his kidney and my uncle was diagnosed with lung cancer. In my last Steem post before the ban I wrote:
"I have been battling severe depression for quite some time now and find myself wondering when it will get any better. A month ago I was really enjoying being sober throughout the day, and now it feels like a struggle. As soon as it feels like I am making some progress life gives me a swift kick in the dick that brings me right back to the darkness I am trying to escape.
The only thing that seemed to help me cope was writing about my thoughts/feelings and sharing on Steem. Realizing that I had been banned was devastating to say the least. If it wasn’t for the good people at TIMM such as: 
After a brief interaction on Twitter with 
Instead of making a public apology and admitting fault they chose to go silent and not say another word about it. I felt strongly that this exemplified serious character flaws with the organization and made me question any person or business that would employ their services. I did not want to contribute anything more to Steemit after that experience and had moved on completely.
However, thanks to the members of TIMM sticking up for me, and the love that they showed, I am happy to start posting again through mentormarket.io! I consider myself a member of TIMM and I will be interacting with their interface while avoiding Steem as much as possible.
TIMM Blog
Moving forward I will commit to posting the following: ‘Bitcoin Daily Update’ | ‘Sawcruhteez Trading Strategy’ | Comprehensive Trading Process | ‘Trading Strategy for Parabolic Markets’ & I will regularly contribute to the ‘Trading Pit’
In the Bitcoin Daily Update I will outline all of the positions that I have open (in crypto) and I will do my best to outline an upcoming entry with a stop loss and profit target. There will also be some random charts that I post when I find a good setup in alts or traditional markets. In this circumstance if I post a chart then I will be taking on that position myself and there should still be plenty of time for others to enter as well.
I swing trade and I like to hold onto my positions for > 1 month. Therefore my entries are usually available for 1 day or more. Be advised that if you prefer to trade shorter time frames then I will not be a good analyst to follow.
I fully believe in the merit of technical analysis and will trade any market that I have access to through 1Broker (affiliate link). I do my best to stay on top of the fundamentals but will very rarely use them as a primary reason to open a swing trade. I believe that the news can be seen in the charts, and when there is insider trading the charts will show the news ahead of time.
Technical analysis does not work 100% of the time. Losing trades are guaranteed and should be viewed as a cost of doing business.
Through enough experience, emotional control, risk management and favorable risk:reward ratios it is possible to consistently beat the market. However, just because someone beat the market yesterday or last year does not mean they will continue to do so. Success breeds confidence which usually precedes arrogance. Change happens extremely fast and if someone is too arrogant to recognize it then they will get burned the worst.
I do not recommend that you follow my trades. I am simply posting my analysis to help us both learn and to build a network. What I do with my $ is my business, what you do with your $ is your business.
TL:DR - Follow me on TIMM for the Bitcoin Daily Update & keep an eye out for the following blog posts: Comprehensive Trading Process | ‘Sawcruhteez Trading Strategy’ | ‘Trading Strategy for Parabolic Markets’
