_{This is Day 19 of the 30-day Traffic Koans contest. Details on how to enter can be found here: https://steemit.com/traffic-koans/@jedau/traffic-koans-halfway-update-1505319420-6600256}

"Stop right there," a man in blue demanded. He was carrying a baton, and he had an air of authority.

"What's wrong," the woman asked, complying to the demand. "Is there a problem?"

"Don't you know that it's illegal to walk here without taking your top off?"

"Well, that's absurd!" she shouted, irritated. "Who would impose such a thing?"

"Rules are rules," the man in blue excused. "Take your top off or walk somewhere else."

The woman was in a rush, so she took her top off begrudgingly. She had an ample bosom, so the man seized the opportunity to stare lasciviously.

A woman behind her saw this, so she took her top off in advance, so that she won't be accosted by the man.

"Hold it right there," the man instructed. "Cover yourself up!"

"What's the problem?" the woman asked. "You told the woman ahead of me that this was the custom, so I followed the rules."

"Yeah well, she has very good breasts while you have a chest that is even flatter than mine. You would need to pay a fine for walking around naked."

Oh, cops. In terms of stories about corruption, they're a gift that keeps on giving. Just yesterday, Hive account@dreemit shared a tale of her own experience. To be fair though, not all cops are bad. I say that with an asterisk.

Here in the Philippines, the traffic enforcers aren't really cops at all! Well, some of them are, but not all of them. It really gets confusing at times. But, whatever shade of uniform they wear, many of them are the epitome of corruption. Again, I'm not pertaining to all of them, as I feel that there are a handful of law enforcers who applied to their jobs with the purest of intentions.

A lot of the ones I've mentioned in the earlier koans persist because traffic enforcers refuse to deal with them accordingly. Jeepneys, buses, and other PUVs are under the thumb of the greatest syndicate of them all—the police force. I mean, who would police the police? Heck, these days, cops are even getting away with murder. I do mean that in the most literal sense. The only agency that has any power to stop them—the Commission on Human Rights—has just been given a 1000Php annual budget. Let's put that into perspective. One thousand pesos doesn't even buy you a complete meal in a classy restaurant. How would that support the plight of thousands of human rights victims? I don't want to get too political, so I'll leave it at that.

Going back to corrupt traffic enforcers, I have been a victim of them twice in my life. Granted, I did make some traffic violations, so me bribing them only fed the system. For that, I apologize. It was either that or have my license taken away and lost in the system. The first instance was when I was lost and found myself in a bus lane. At the beginning of it, I came across an officer that just let me through. He didn't stop me and told me that I was going the wrong way. No. He just permitted me to pass, not knowing that I was being led to a bus lane. At the end of it, a different officer flagged me down and told me that I illegally drove on the bus lane. I reasoned that it was my first time there, coming from the province, and I was unfamiliar with the structure. Also, I told him that another officer just let me pass as if I was in the right lane. I pleaded for him to give me a pass since this was my first offense, and that I wasn't going to do it again.

_{Image Source}

He refused to listen to my plea, and instead told me the consequences of my action. I was told that my license would be suspended and that I had to go through days of seminars and have to pay a hefty fee to get my license reinstated. He made it seem like I was never going to outlive this mistake, and that I would carry this for the rest of my life. I was young and naive, so I was visibly nervous at the thought of it. He then asked me what I wanted to do.

_{Emoji Source}

I kept wondering what other choice was there. But then, it dawned on me: he was asking if I wanted to bribe him, without asking outright. You see, even though it was my first time to be flagged down, I have been a passenger of many such events and have seen bribes at the end of almost all of them. There was just one time when my father was flagged down, and he tried to bribe the officer, but the officer would have none of it and scolded him for it. See, I told you there are still a handful of non-corrupt people in the force. But, this was my turn at the plate. Should I risk being scolded or should I just accept the consequences of my ignorance? I ask for your apology, because I chose the latter. I wish that I could turn back time, but it is what is.

"Is there anything I can do, officer?" I asked.

"I don't know," he answered. "You tell me."

"Could I just pay the fine here and not have my license taken?"

"That's not something you can do," he told me, as he handed me a black tickler.

_{Tickler Source}

No, not that kind of tickler! Anyway, he instructed me to slip, what I would assume as my license, there. He didn't say it outright though, so instead I slipped a hundred peso bill that Hive account@randomli handed me. Yup, my fiancee was there, but she was just my girlfriend at the time. The officer got the tickler back, smiled, and let us off with a warning. Easy peasy. But, I felt sick to my stomach after I realized I just fed the system. Well, that was until I committed another error.

This time, we were heading to the airport to fetch Hive account@randomli's father. It was my first time driving there, and we missed a turn. Thankfully, we were in an intersection, so I backed up slowly because there were no cars behind us. We were hesitant because we saw four officers just hanging around in the shade. Both of us didn't know if we're doing something legal, but we risked it anyway because the officers didn't seem to pay any attention to us. There was an island that separated cars turning right from those who were heading straight, so we were sure it was illegal to turn right from we were. So, we backed up. When we were able to turn, the officers flagged us down. Apparently, they were just waiting for us to come closer because they didn't want to walk.

"Don't you know what you did was illegal?" one of them asked us.

"I'm sorry, officer," I said. "I honestly didn't know."

"That's obstruction of traffic, quite a major offense. License and registration."

I handed him what he asked for, and he returned to his group. Hive account@randomli wanted to capture it all in video, but instead went on to research if we were within our rights. She found out that traffic enforcers were assigned their own posts and that it was illegal for them to huddle together in one spot. The internet search also returned that licenses couldn't be taken anymore, and instead tickets were issued, which we have to pay at a bank. His retreat gave us more time to be more informed. In anticipation of the worst, I took out the money from my wallet. When he returned, we were prepared.

"Here's your registration, but I'm going to have to take your license."

"Isn't it against the law to do that now?"

"If you committed a minor violation, then I wouldn't need to take it, but you committed a serious offense."

"But there were no other cars there."

"Yeah, but what if there were."

He then proceeded to tell me what the consequences were, the same scare tactic as before, to which I replied with my sob story. Now, at that point, I really haven't learned my lesson, and I was in a bit of a hurry. I didn't want to meet my girlfriend's father just coming from my license being taken.

"Could you let us off with a warning? It's really our first time here, and we're very sorry for the violation."

"I can't do that, you were captured by the CCTV cameras."

"Officer, please. I... I really can't afford to lose my license."

"You know... you could pay me the fine."

"How much is it again?"

"5000 pesos."

"But, I don't have that kind of money on me."

"How much do you have?"

I took out my wallet, but when I flipped it, a 500 peso bill appeared. Good grief, I thought.

"500 pesos," I replied, much to my chagrin.

"Is that really all you have?"

I showed him my wallet, and flashed a sad face. "See?"

"Well, alright. I'll take it. Just to be clear, this is payment for the fine. I'm covering the remaining balance from my own pocket, just to let you off the hook. You will have a mark in your record because you were captured in the CCTV though. But, since you already paid me the fine, I'm going to write you a receipt. At least you wouldn't have to go through the seminars."

"Thank you, officer. You're so kind."

He went back to his group again, so I rolled up the window. We checked the rear view mirror, and saw that there were no CCTV cameras present. Months later, when I renewed my license, I asked to check if I had any violations and was told that I had none in my record. The officer came back, handed me my license back and gave me a shoddy receipt. We went on our way, and I avoided Waze for a number of months because it cost me 500 bucks.

All in all, I spent 1000 pesos just to avoid getting blemishes on my record. Ironically, that's the same amount that congress had alotted as the annual budget for the Commission on Human Rights.

What's your traffic violation story? Ever had a run in with a corrupt traffic enforcer? Don't be shy. Sound off in the comments section below! :D