It occurred to me recently that over the course of my life that has been governed by anorexia and pursuing to lose weight I must have reached a particular point where I felt had a positive sense of body image AND was functioning at a healthy body weight. I began scavenging for images of myself in search for my "optimum body" that would be BOTH good for my health and that I would be satisfied with enough to use as a goal for my weight restoration 🏆⚖ The image on the far left was taken in April 2014 before my eating disorder, where I didn't particularly like my body but wasn't concerned enough to hide it away on the beach 🏖 Looking at this photo now I can't believe the size of myself and can only describe myself with my most feared F word - fat 🙈 Still I wasn't overweight and was considered to be within in my healthy BMI range. The image on the far right was taken most recently in January 2016 this year where I was underweight and had been for a long time. This doesn't even show me at my lowest weight but is accurate enough for me to see the massive transformation I made to my body. At this stage I was skinny and knew it and liked it although I seeked the need to be skinnier and I still feel the same way today. The middle was taken exactly one year earlier where I still strived for perfection and more weight loss but hadn't reached the "unhealthy range" yet. Looking at these three images I can recognise that the middle image SHOULD be what I want. Although I may not believe i want this back just yet I am going to tell myself every morning that THAT is the Korey I want to be 🙌🏻🌞❤️ Posting these photos is a reminder to myself to do begin doing this and to use to reflect back on in the future to hopefully be able to compare myself most similarly to that middle girl in the bikini 👙👊🏻
