When I was a child, my mother told me that life was not gonna be easy for me. When she told me this, I can see her heart breaking with every word. As a parent, you want the best for your child. You want your child to be able to live freely and prosper in a world that values them, and their contributions to society. But, the fact of the matter is, that's not the world that we live in today. My mother knew that. She knew that I would have a hard time convincing the world that I'm human.
Let that soak in.
I constantly find myself fighting for basic human decency, begging to simply be treated as a human. I know that there are people who will never see me as a woman, and I'm ok with that. It's all about perspective and I cant reasonably expect someone to rewire a lifetime of learned perspective on gender. But, I can reasonably expect to be treated with decency.
The great Oprah Winfrey once said, "how you feel about me, ain't none of my business".
I never quite understood why we as people are so invested in the lives of others. I never understood why anyone would have an issue with the way that I present myself to the world. I hate to see people wear eyeshadow without eyeliner, but my opinion is mine alone and not needed unless asked for it. Their decision to wear pastel eyeshadows without a liner to balance it out doesn't affect me one bit. So why hate them for that decision? Why can't everyone have that same mindset? You don't have to like it or agree with it. If you don't, cool, just leave me the fuck alone.
If my trans experience was limited to being bullied or simply dealing with bigoted and hateful opinions, then that would be amazing. But, it's not. There is a lot of people who hate me for my gender expression and actually think that I do not deserve the right to exist. Physical assaults, sexual assaults and violence is almost a way of life for transgender women. On top of being black and navigating through a racist world, we're also women who have to navigate through misogyny and to top it all of, we're transgender and the transphobia is the cherry on top of an oppression Sunday.
The life expectancy for transgender women of color is 35. The National Coalition of Anti-Violence found in 2013 that almost 90 percent of LGBTQ homicide victims were people of color. They also found that 72 percent were transgender women and 67 percent were trans women of color. According to statistics provided by Planet Transgender, a trans woman is killed internationally every 29 hours. According to Huffington Post, the rate of murder by a cis person against a trans woman is 1 in 12, and for trans women of color that rate rises to 1 in 8. Furthermore, the average life expectancy of a trans woman of color is 35 years.
during the civil war, 1 out of every 15 American soldiers was killed. For trans women of color, its 1 out of 12. Let that sink in. The civil war is the bloodiest war ever fought on American soil. And trans women are being killed at a faster rate.
My entire life I've had to physically and emotionally fight for my dignity and respect. I have faced an insurmountable amount of violence because of my gender identity and it has made a warrior out of me. I have thick skin because of it and these hands work very well lol. I literally put my life on the line by simply existing and living within my truth. Every time I go outside and interact with people, I know that I'm placing myself directly in the lion's den. But me living in a lion's den has made me quite equipped to create a bad ass caftan, blouse or dress out of lion skin.
We are superheroes because no matter what, we rise above hatred, and fight to make this world a better place for the others who will come after us. We are revolutionary, we are unprecedented, we are the new normal and we became these things by simply existing.