Dear father, I forgive you. I forgave you long ago but never written on paper or in the form of text. I forgave you in my heart for what you forced upon me. I forgive you for the times in which no child should have encountered what you subjected my three year old self to. Thanks to you father, memories have been burned into my consciousness that I will sadly never forget. That time in the bathroom when you locked me inside, only a toddler; helpless and distraught. You stripped yourself of your clothing, sat upon the toilet and began touching yourself in ways only a significant other should ever see. Father, I remember that moment vividly. I will never forget how I screamed and cried while clawing at that bathroom door for help that never came. Such torment to a little child, how could you? I remember the time in my bedroom with you, when I had to go potty and you crumpled up toilet paper and made me get on all fours. You placed the toilet paper in between my cheeks and instructed me to act as a "Little Horsey" for your own sick enjoyment. Did that bring you happiness, dad? Did it bring you joy, Dad? I remember being petrified when every Friday came along. Your parents never believed you needed the court ordered supervised visitation so what did they do? They left me alone with you anyways, because how could their son be so sick? Denial, that's what. I remember being thirteen and coming across a letter written by our neighbor to testify against you in court that stated when you used to change my diapers as a baby that you would slip your fingers inside me to "clean me up", I could not believe that I came across such horrific paperwork. I burned everything you ever gave me that day, in the back yard. I understand you were sick, and lost. That is why I forgive you. My mother created me despite what doctors told her (that she was unable to carry a child) and succeeded at being both parents. You died before I turned four, and I feel glad beyond reason that you were unable to create more trauma for me. The only thing I thank you for is helping give me life. Damage was done by you, but not enough to destroy my life. You may have caused me temporary pain, but I refuse to give you credit for the job of "Daddy". Just because I forgive you, does not mean that I love you.