I walk alone. When I travel or even when I'm just staying in some place for a while. But there seems to be a problem with choosing to live your life your way. At some point in my life, I found myself staying in Cusco to work for a bit. As you might probably know by now, in Latin American culture, a woman walking alone is treated like a passing gem. Once upon a time, it was more poetic and complimentary. That time, the compliment was embraced and welcomed by women.
One time, I was traveling to this place called 'Piura' in northern Peru. I saw this gorgeous girl passing by, wearing that typical skinny jeans that emphasizes a Latina's most prominent body feature. I observed as the men started catcalling her. I felt sorry and was expecting a raging reaction from her. I really wanted to strangle each man. But then she turned around and just smiled at them.
Just as I finished my 9-month stint in Cusco and lived a miserable life of being catcalled every day as I walked to work, right there and then, I quickly understood when my Peruana friends explained to me that it was part of the 'Machismo' culture. Believe it or not, there's actually a small percentage of women who respond positively to catcalling. It is some kind of positive reinforcement, like a cat power effect.
As long as there are still some women out there that reinforce this behavior by giving men the attention they need, this behavior will continue. If men think that it worked once, then they will continue doing it. It just sucks for those who think that 'nice ass' or the hola linda doesn't really sound like "awww the sun embraces your beauty like a flower" and all that.
After that downright sexual assault on the street close to my place in Cusco, I was still blamed for my clothes, my body, my inability to adapt to the 'machismo' culture, and being a woman. The reason it didn't result to rape was that I was able to assert my power right there and then (Don't worry, no animals were harmed). It was just my cat survivor instinct that night - I'm just not going to allow you to walk all over me. The traces of the working class and strength of the poor emanated. If it's just one man, I could still defend myself (Don't be scared, I still want to be loved). But this society says everything is my fault hey, I didn't mean to be that charming. I must be so powerful that a man could resort to this animalistic behavior. I finally told my Peruvian friends that I'm done here. I'm leaving. But is it going to change anywhere I go in this world? I just try to understand the reasons behind this whole male dominance thing.
In the developing world, the catcalling behavior is more rampant especially in the poor neighborhood (which is everywhere) or ghetto where people are used to the community thing, sharing everything, and are not used to minding their own business. The people are used to the shallowness of their happiness. They like talking to strangers a.k.a. being friendly. Selfishness is not a big thing unlike in the individualist societies or the developed world. If you live in both worlds, you will see what I mean. You will understand the difference in the behavior of people - both positive and negative. To strongly adapt to both worlds, one need to understand certain things.
The only ugly side is that it is seen as positive to degrade and objectify women because some men just don't care. They knew that in the real world, they really have no chance of getting noticed by an attractive girl. There are those terribly unattractive men who had been looked down on and openly mocked by attractive women all their lives. But some men need to be rejected and get used to it, it builds their character. It makes them strong. That is why it is hard for them to let their guard down and be vulnerable. Once a woman stopped doing her part of feeding or stroking a man's fragile ego, he would come back for retribution to assert his power. Some poor men have no other source of pride and self-respect, they could not get it from status, nationality, wealth and education. The movies even promote who dominates the male world. So whenever they are out there hanging out on the street, a woman walking alone becomes their vulnerable prey. It's just the alpha males claiming back their power.
I am not justifying street harassment, but instead of getting sucked into the misery and containing my disgust and anger, I will just try my best to understand why men behave this way. I still despise this behavior and there's always a chance that I wouldn't be able to arrive at my destination peacefully without getting bothered. Even though there are places where street harassment is not as worse as it is in South America, this thing still happens everywhere. Attractive girl or not, a woman walking alone becomes a target of disrespect. It feels like every day being called to be raped. The local radio even promotes that catcalling sound as if it is a normal thing. So how is this going to change?
Ignoring seems to work for a while but it just maintains the unacceptable behavior. But giving these street harassers some attention is like giving them back their power. In reality, men are behaving like nuts because of women and women are crying like babies because of men. Gender power struggle is such a big topic these days. Most people think that men are more powerful but I really disagree. The modern society just perpetuates women's victimhood when in fact, women should realize how more powerful they are, just not physically. A woman is also a man's weakness. Would you believe how powerful women are that they have power over the most powerful creatures - that some men (sexual harassers) would even resort to being not evolved, back to level 1 animal? Women can diabolically laugh at some men's disrespect and absurd behavior, that's how much unrecognized power they really have.
Women can be in control as long as they don't abuse their power. Even that #metoo / awww poor me thing is now getting old. I know that women can always say no (rape is an exception), they can choose not to go with a man, they can choose to earn more money their own way and not having to depend on power-hungry men. They can choose rough/porn-like unrealistic sex as long as pretending to be weak (only in bed) is enjoyable - for some. They can choose not to feel used even if the society says otherwise. Women too can be just as rational, practical and control their own feelings. As long as they don't go overboard and be like Harley Quinn (hmmm not sure now). Women just think they don't have a choice out of fear. I really believe that they have a choice most of the time. Women should try to understand the whole dominance cycle and the alpha males' behavior. Understanding the absurd reality of things could be the key to peacefully arriving at a solution and living in harmony with each other. Knowledge is power. It protects you and allows you survive in this diabolic world.