“Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive - the risk to be alive and express what we really are”. – Miguel Angel Ruiz
If you couldn't get me to Porto Velho as your truck driver friend promised, could you just drop me here, please? I pleaded.
We are in the middle of nowhere! People will rob you and rape you! This is a dangerous part of Brazil! He yelled at me.
This old man was scaring me, psychologically manipulating me. He was giving me no choice. Yes, we are in the middle of nowhere. I was kind of believing that there might be Anacondas around. This empty, dark road with jungles around. Who knows? Anyway, I would rather die getting swallowed by an Anaconda than being raped or killed by this truck driver. Really, that time, that was what I was already thinking. The end of my great adventures. The end of me.
Stupid. How did I get in this situation in the first place?
That morning, I was hitchhiking very early as always. I have met really nice people along the way who were helping me get to my destination. Yes, I was going to the Amazon! As I was getting close to Porto Velho, the last truck driver gave me a ride. We chit chatted in my terrible “Portuñol” as always. I have hitchhiked and traveled to most parts of Brazil and I had nothing but good experiences, until...
This young truck driver said he was not going to Porto Velho anymore but he’s friend was on his way there. His friend could get me there quickly, and from Porto Velho, I could take the boat going to Manaus.
Ok, it was already late in the afternoon, and normally I don’t really hitchhike at night anymore. I took my chances. I was tired and not thinking clearly anymore. We were already in the middle of nowhere, empty roads, and no public transportation. I could probably find a hostel in Porto Velho, stay there for a night and get to the boat next day and everything would be alright. I just wanted to get there quickly.
So he passed me to his truck driver friend who turned out be a cocaine-snorting old man. He was talking a lot and making me feel really uncomfortable the whole ride.
Think, think. Think quickly for fuck’s sake. Look around and analyze the situation. What did that Blink book teach me by the way? Those mental processes that work quickly and automatically with just a little information you have. It’s called instinct, oh yes, yes, my instinct helped me traveled for a long time with less money and with my body still intact. My instinct introduced me to people who gave me the best travel experiences, who proved that I should not give up on humanity.
What was my subconscious telling my conscious mind, so I could make use of expert judgment and come to a rational decision at that point? That book can teach us that those quick or spontaneous decisions are most of the time just as good as, or perhaps even better than those carefully planned ones.
This book was recommended to me before I started traveling. With or without the book, everyone has this instinct or gut feeling anyway. And the ability to make decisions in no time with just little resources. But the book can teach you how to improve that skill.
So the old man parked the truck in some dark side of the road. In my mind I was very scared, my body and my face were not showing it yet. I told him that maybe we could go on for a bit and park somewhere else, and then I promised him that we will sleep....
He got mad of course. I was driving the whole day and I am tired! Porto Velho is still very far away! The Brazillian truck driver yelled at me. He drove anyway, then I told him to stop right there....
I saw another truck parked in front of a well-lit place, with a public toilet and a closed restaurant. Maybe I could just sleep there, I am so tired. Wait, think again. No time for sleepiness geez, this is a make it or break it situation. Oh, of course, there must be someone else in that truck, oh yes there could be someone else here finally. Someone who could probably help me, I thought desperately.
I secretly tried to open the door of the truck. Fuck...I couldn't.
The truck driver was closing the window curtains, undressing and was down to his boxer shorts. He was telling me that he was tired to drive and that Porto Velho was still a long way to go. Aren’t you sleepy yet? Come here and I promise I won’t do anything to you, he said.
Was I about to get raped? Most likely. Was I about to get killed? Maybe...I thought.
Was I scared? Fuck yeah. Did I panic? No.
I am not sleepy yet, I told him very calmly (trying my best to stay calm). I moved to the driver’s seat slowly, hoping that I would be able to open that one. I was thinking very fast though.
I guess uhmmm I will sit here for a moment until I get very sleepy, then I’ll join you... I reassured him.
Time was running. I knew I can get raped or killed in the blink of an eye. Who knows?
What are you doing? Come here and sleep with me, I promise to get you to Porto Velho tomorrow. It is very dangerous now, lots of Anacondas around.
He was getting closer to me, almost like dragging me to his bed at the back. I was secretly clenching my small knife for peeling fruits, then I suddenly grabbed my backpack, pushed the driver seat’s door and ran to the front of the other truck parked in front of the closed restaurant.
Please help me, help me please, please. I was whispering in desperation but I was actually signaling the other man who looked like he was grooming after having taken a shower from that public toilet. I saw him through his truck’s front window. I was making signs of help with my hands clasped together, like begging him for help. (I’m pausing to smoke a cigarette as I couldn’t continue writing for a moment. This memory is making me teary-eyed... .)
Then suddenly, the old man got off his truck holding a mallet. He walked to the other truck parked beside his. I was just standing there from a short distance, signaling the other truck driver and begging for my life. Scared shitless.
Then the old man approached me, clenching that mallet and letting it dangle from his hand. He was getting closer and closer to me. I was holding my breath. This is it, I thought.
The old man without a word, looked at me, then turned his back and walked away. He walked back to his truck and drove away.
I found out that Porto Velho was only 30 minutes away from where I was and that there were no Anacondas in that area.
The other truck driver told me that he was holding his machete inside his truck the whole time, just in case. He drove me to the nearest hostel. Then I started crying as I recounted the incident to him. He stopped by at the hostel the next morning to make sure I was alright. I thanked him for my life. He was my savior.
I didn’t continue going to the Amazon anymore. I took a bus and went back to the Peruvian border.
I’m still hitchhiking though, but not a lot anymore. I am more careful now after this incident. In 2 years I was traveling in South America, I have met the best people through hitchhiking, some people even hosted me in their homes, introduced me to their friends and made me feel like part of the family. Some are still my friends until now.
For female travelers who are traveling alone through this way, take my experience as a lesson and don’t let this stop you from seeing the world and having the great adventures of a lifetime. Let my story empower you as a woman traveler. There are always risks and danger, everywhere, even if you are not traveling. Look around you now, you can even die just by sitting at a coffee shop.
You will learn more as you travel more. Remember the instinct, use it wisely as it will save you from a lot of danger during your travel. Spread the good vibes and inspire those people around you. Live! This is the best time to be alive.
“The real me isn't the person I describe, no the real me is the me revealed by my actions.”
― Malcolm Gladwell, Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking