I was one of the most inquisitive kids growing up, although very quiet, I asked a lot of questions, most of which, those who came before me did not find answers to. One of them is what it means to be humble.
Humility in African setting is grossly misunderstood to be conformity to norms, popular opinions and in most cases, lack of self-worth. What we call humility here, is actually an abuse of it.
This was well analyzed in the book, “IMAGE OF GOD”, which I wrote about four years ago.
To be humble is a good virtue, but majority of Africans, in process of trying to fit into the society’s definition of humility, end up abusing it.
I found out that abuse of humility does more harm to people than abuse of pride, known as arrogance does.
I live by my own philosophy, and despite I have acted and still act humble, I appear to people as a very haughty person; one who does not listen – an obstinately proud person. Of all things, I like the word abstinence; it shows I am on the right path.
In some African setting, such as Nigeria, where I live, for you to be humble, you have to conform to public opinions and their definition of certain things, you have to accept all advice given, you have to be discrete about the truth, you have to shield your self-worth and compromise with situations you don’t like. In fact, talking about your abundance of knowledge, achievements and things you do right, is number one evidence that you are proud.
It is no surprise therefore, that a lot of people, even those that are close, see me as, not only proud, but unreasonably obstinate.
They have issues with the fact that I am always right, they have issues with the things I say about me, such as calling myself a god; they have issues with me not bending to their own opinions, which are most times inferior. Saying an opinion is inferior is on its own is an offence.
However, I am not proud, I just suffer from people’s lack of understanding of what it means to be humble – what I have is right use of my ego, as against neglecting it, which is an abuse of humility, but confused for humility here.
I apologize more than any of my contemporaries, even when I am not wrong, I bow to greet elders, I stand up to allow an elder sit in a gathering, even a public buses, I help elders to carry their loads, even handbags, yet they say I am arrogant.
Do the above stated qualities define a humble person?
If I do all of them and still get arrogant tag, what then does it mean to be humble?
It is a shame that majority of Africans can’t differentiate between right use of ego and arrogance. What I have is a well managed ego, which is inspired by more knowledge of me than any other person has and leads to a perfect self-esteem, which makes it difficult to look or talk down on myself. Talking or looking myself down, would have meant to people, I am humble, doing otherwise means I am arrogant.
I hate African humility!
If the definition remains unchanged, then I prefer to be the most arrogant man on earth, because I will never subscribe to African type of humility which means the following:
You must not give an opinion, when elders are talking; wisdom belongs only to the old - you must not prove them wrong,
You must accept all advice from elders, without checking them; you must obey whatever they tell you,
You must not assert your self-worth or talk about your achievements,
You must not admit you know, even when you know,
You must accept wrong, even when you are right, because popular opinion says you are wrong,
Your parents and family members know the best for your life and you must do only what they tell you.
Doing all the above stated is what it means to be humble in Africa, going against all of them, renders me arrogant, but if they are all that it takes to be humble, then I prefer that God make me more arrogant and never become humble.
If what I have is arrogance, then it is one that every man now living must learn and live by.
If you doubt that it is worth paying to learn, just make me a case study.
You will eventually agree with me in the nearest future.
