Phi Phi Island: Magic, parties, dating tips, and my own missed opportunities

My selfie from a beach party. I believe it is a successful one. I am GLOWING. Haha. I've put it here to have it as a (hopefully) nice cover picture for the post

How I spent 13 days on Ko Phi Phi instead of 1 hour

Phi Phi Island was my very first place in SE Asia. My plan was to go to Lanta for the first couple of weeks, but after the first boat I took from Phuket to Phi Phi I had to wait for an hour for the another one to Lanta. I spontaneously decided to stay in Phi Phi for a night and go to Lanta tomorrow. However, I stayed in Phi Phi next 13 days. And it took me almost two months to finally find myself in Lanta. I still have a boat ticket from Phi Phi to Lanta that I never used. I gave 400 thb for it - my mistake, it was my first day in Asia. Today it has a much higher value - it tells a lot about my indecisiveness, and now it is even mentioned publicly. I can sell it to you for 0.02 BTC today. Haha. Anyway, if you have too much freedom and if you travel, don't be silly to plan anything. Just go with the flow (of Andaman Sea).

This is how I went with the flow of Andaman Sea :D

And this is the view to make you jealous!

If you are not into dancing for 400 thb per night at Slinky bar for next two years of your life, 4 days are quite enough for this island. However, as I felt very homesick and was trying to decide if I'm staying in Asia or hysterically flying back home, I stayed 9 days more than recommended. And I cannot complain - I was in a PARADISE. Look at these beautiful pictures!

These two pictures are from Long Beach. I recommend this beach from swimming / snorkelling. It is perfectly clean, with perfectly clean water, and really good for relaxation. However, in the late afternoon water becomes so shallow that it is impossible to swim (I still haven't found an explanation for that). Beaches on the other side of the island are a bit destroyed by parties, and not clean

This island is really clean, and with some very nice resorts full of plants. It is nice to walk around them or to sit for a drink

This is one of the cute cats I saw around there :)

This is how the beach looks like in the late afternoon

This is one of the beach restaurants where I used to work. It is really challenging to find a calm place to work if you are a freelancer, since there are loud happy tourists in swimsuits everywhere, making you feel like a boring hateful geek. Seriously, if you really need to get some work done, try to get up earlier and go to a beach restaurant while most of the other tourists are still sleeping.

I spent my days in Phi Phi Island going to the beach almost every day, and listening to the Serbian music with no earplugs, to fulfill my current (and wrong) need to be at home, in my rainy city of Belgrade. I was also working a bit every day. A few evenings I went out to some of the beach clubs. And they have maybe the best parties with fire shows I have ever attended. So, if you are travelling to Thailand for partying, you can totally skip Full Moon Party in Koh Phangan (unless you love to feel like a sardine in a can), and just go to Phi Phi for a few days.

One picture from a party. However, no topless girls, no naked guys that night. Such a pity. Haha

Tips for dating on Ko Phi Phi

Anyways, Phi Phi is the great place to be if you are really fucked up by your boring job in England and Australia. It is also great for young chicks and dudes after they broke up their five-year-long relationships with their schoolmates wearing eyeglasses. Here are my tips for dating in Phi Phi Island:

FOR CHICKS

1. wear any clothes (don't waste time choosing, everybody is always pretty on Phi Phi <3)
2. go to any bar / tickets shop
3. come to an expat guy of your choice and say 'Hi' (you can experiment with smiling, wining, or being totally serious to get different types of always positive response)
4. as soon as possible you will be asked to exchange Facebook / Instagram (with a couple of likes included), and invited to friendly go out together later
5. around the evening you will get the following message from the guy of your choice: 'Hey, I'm very tired after working whole day, how about to watch movies at my place at 11 pm?'
6. go; don't worry, you'll probably not watch the movie for as long as you are not really stinky
7. take a proud 'walk of shame' in the late morning, saying 'Hi' to everyone with the best smile you can put on your nice, tanned face; remeber - YOU WON no matter what
8. repeat the process with another guy after chilling at the beach in the afternoon
   Extra tip: NEVER take the same guy unless there is no other option. Dump him before he dumps you.

There is no need to drink this fake beauty drink full of sugar. On Phi Phi Island every girl is a princess.

FOR DUDES

1. do some push-ups before heading off to look for a girl
2. wear a shirt with no sleeves, look casual but with style
3. go to any bar of your choice, and take two drinks (not more, not less)
4. approach any girl standing alone or looking bored of her friends in a friendly, cool-guy way - 'Hi, how are you?' / 'What's up dude?' / 'Are you going out tonight?' (most pointless question on Phi Phi Island, but it always works)
5. after a few sentences and a compliment, ask her for Facebook / Instagram and like a couple of her pictures
6. ask her to go out together around the evening with some other friends
7. now it is about your sensibility for girls - you can either really bother going out with her and risking to lose her in a bunch of other hot guys, or you can do it more directly and invite her for a movie around 11 pm (if you chose the second option, make sure you have a plan B if she says 'no')
8. after a successful hook up LEAVE THE ISLAND IMMEDIATELY for your own safety!
   Extra tip: No extra tip for you, you insensitive, disrespectful jerk.

My own experience with dating on Phi Phi I would consider as potentially successful. I wasn't as lucky as you to know for these tips and how the game looks like, so I actually accidentally approached some expat guys to ask some questions, without knowing that if we are just talking we are actually flirting. So, as in my tips above, I was asked for Facebook/Instagram. I got likes. I got invitations to go out with them and their friends. Later I also got invitations to watch movies at 11 pm instead. From three guys in the same evening. I felt disrespected. I was maybe wrong for no accepting any of the offers. Haha. Now too late to regret. Haha.

This is what you should fall in love with

Phi Phi Island is definitely not a place for falling in love. However, if you follow my tips (and even if you don't), you can hook up very easily. But I have something better for you here - a sunset. Sunset on Ko Phi Phi can be easily missed due to an exceptionally long hangover, or picking a wrong time for taking your Tinder match home (if you are desperate enough to use Tinder on Ko Phi Phi, the island of opportunities). If you are planning to travel to Phi Phi soon - don't look the following pictures, be surprised. And if you have already visited it, but were too caught-up with the social side of the island and missed the sunset, continue scrolling down. The sunset is shown gradually. :)

NOTE
Tips for dating are just for fun and not serious. :)