I wake up like most, to an alarm or magically a minute before the BEEP BEEP BEEP. I plug in the old hot pot, something I picked up at a thrift store that heats water super fast for my instant coffee. I get kids off to school, clean my home, get ready for work, pick up kids, put them to bed and call it a day. Certainly I do interesting stuff in between that brief run down, but most of it is nothing to write home about. The little that is to be wrote home about, isn't discussed with mum and dad, because they simply don't understand and ask too many questions. They love and accept me and save me the lectures so all of us are happy. In my, what appears to be mundane life, lives me, a mum of 4 sons, with ideas and beliefs that do not fit the norm. I have to get away sometimes. I have to leave home, I have to explore my new ideas and I have to take in consideration of what is good for the family. One would think that a mom of four sons has a lot on her plate and no room for anything but raising children to stay still, get an education and be respectful. This is true, but also, my children must learn to be comfortable to take risks, go places, always learn new things and dumb laws are meant to be broken. Is it possible to teach stability in a chaotic world?
So sometimes I wake up and decide to follow a dream or give a thought action and I go. I am divorced and get ahold of fathers and grandfathers and say "hey, I'm going "here" and will be back "when"" and I go, with little question. I think they understand me or are thrilled to be put in charge of these outstanding young men. Either way, once proper care is distributed for my loved ones, I leave, take a vacation and face challenges. I need this to stay sane. Certainly I made my choices when I decided to have kids, and especially so many, but I didn't decide to kill my dreams or live so routinely that there is no room for adventure. After the choice is made a ticket is bought, usually a bus ticket, always one way, I worry about the way back when I'm ready to come back. Lots of mommys would call this irresponsible and I am no one to judge, but irresponsible is found in love affairs and empty bottles and that's not my thing. I didn't choose a death sentence by having kids, I put them first and if it helps me to help them by getting away a couple of months every couple of years, than so be it. I don't take my kids to a sitter unless I have to work. You wont find me in the club. Everyone has to have a break. I live in the middle of corn fields and I'm not a farmer! My whole family has basically stayed within spitting distance and I find this comforting, yet confining and absolutely boring! I have to protest. I have to engage. I have to explore. I have to think and think thru and that requires me to leave, on a whim but slightly planned.
It's been awhile since I've ran away from home. As a kid I found a lot of comfort in packing my bags to go but never left....well one time I did make good on my bag packing and what a trip that was.