Oh it 's true. He is crazy, rides rails, leaves me and his son for extended periods and I miss and love him! I have accepted that he is a train riding, no rules, no dumb laws enthusiast. It worries and scares me and I feel abandoned when he goes, but I get it now. He does this to be free, to get his mind right and he brings back life to his son and I. I love the courage it takes him to hop a train and I love how he knows where to hop off and on, he knows where a train is going, he knows how to read the signs other hoppers have left. He survives and its beautiful.
Currently Mr. Man is hopping back home and it is a long wait for us, hopping isn't like booking a flight or bus ticket at all. You stalk the yard, figure out the right train, take risks, have delays and end up in unknowns. If this is what it takes for the man of the house to be happy, I am the happy waiting at home Mrs., until this boy of our is old enough to talk, so I can leave him with family and hop a rail with my guy.
The acceptance didn't always exist, I was broken down a bit to be fully committed to what he does. What broke me is knowing he will do whatever he wants when seen fit and despite my tries, I only delay him. He has to adventure this way. I have to let him go. I accept and appreciate this now, but it took years to come to this. Not many years, this man isn't the kind that will change for others for long periods of time and speaks clearly of his intentions and wishes. Much can be said of this loving relationship and I will say it was hard for us both for all the times I wouldn't accept what I couldn't change. There is obvious risk in moving around the way he does, but there is a greater danger for those of us who don't see what he sees. We only have this life and we can't be happy denying ourselves to please others. We must do what makes us happy and hope it benefits those we love most. Also, we must realize that those who love us most will be upset when we aren't controlled by that love. To seek your purpose and do what you enjoy is heroic.
