ｎｅｖｅｒ ｖｉｓｉｔ ｔｉｍｅｓ ｓｑｕａｒｅ．
Like, we can't stress this enough. Yeah, this is our third installment in out Stringtheory Series, but forget about that.
If you are planning to come to New York City, ＮＥＶＥＲ visit Times Square.
If you have an itinerary planned out, skip it entirely; or at least leave that for last. There are so many other places in NYC to visit that are FAR SUPERIOR to that cesspool of tourism, thievery, and claustrophobia.
First of all, the restaurants are overpriced. We once went to a nearby Sbarro, only to find that a SLICE of regular pizza cost a whopping 9 BUCKS!!! WHY WOULD YOU PAY 9 BUCKS FOR A SLICE OF COLD STALE PIZZA WHEN YOU CAN GET A FRESH SLICE SOMEWHERE ELSE FOR ONLY A BUCK??!!! And as if the outrageous prices aren't already enough, many restaurants add gratuity fees and surcharges to your check! If you just HAVE to validate yourself for whatever reason by saying you ate at Times Square, you'll save a lot more by buying food from someplace else and having a picnic there. Hey, you still can technically say you ate at Times Square.
Next you have the scammers. Not only are there hordes of these wannabe cosplayers--who all look like they got kicked out of every Comic Con for wearing such trashtastic costumes (well-deserved)--but some of them start getting aggressive when you refuse to give them their "tips;" and even if you give them tips, they could refuse anything higher than $5:
Just go look up "Times Square Costume Scam" and there'll be too many results.
OH, BUT IT'S NOT ONLY THE COSTUMES!!! There are also people who guilt trip you into buying their "mixtape" or their "rap album" for $10 or $20 by writing your name on the CD cover and forcing you into buying it, only for you to find that the CD is blank.
Some people try to sell you snacks or candy for $5 a pack (that you could easily get from a bodega for a dollar) saying it's some donation for some organization like Central Park's Basketball Club or Football Club or Penis Inspecting Club or whatever BS excuse they could muster up with their Starburst-sized brains; but they're pretty much the same concept. The best thing to do is to ignore them and run when you see them approach you, but the guilt-tripping may make some hesitate. Even for those with thick skin, these guys are such a nuisance, especially when some try to follow you wherever you go until you stop and listen to their absurd stories. Spare your vacation from being tarnished, just don't go to Times Square.
But if you STILL haven't changed your mind, let me give you a detailed tour on what you'll see at Times Square:
That's it. That's all you're going to see. Just a bunch of large screens all playing ads and too many people crowding the streets to take a decent picture. Nothing as special as, say, the World Trade Center or even Central Park. It's overhyped. It screams consumerism. Consumerism and generic tourism. You may as well be trapped in a moving truck full of advertisements plastered on the walls, ceiling, and floor as you bounce around endlessly while the noise gives you a migraine.
New Yorkers avoid this mosh pit like the plague whenever they can because of all these reasons. We at NTP even call it Cancer Square, it's that bad. Just don't go. It's not worth it. That is all we can say. You have been warned.
ANYWAY now that we got that dissertation over with, if you have some strings that you published, we'd like to see them, so tag us on Twitter @N_TProductions and have the phrase "TEIKOKU BANZAI" visible either: in the video, the title, on any annotations that link to our channel, in the thumbnail, or as the first thing written in the description.
That way we'll know your video has been inspired by us.
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