I am never getting out of bed

When fear overwhelms me, I am often in a great position to shame myself from getting up.

Like Vegeta taunting Goku and telling him his power level is pathetic, I am often caught in my own upriver swim battle to starting a day.

The great thing about my backpacking experience is that I'm consistently moving around. There isn't really a plan to settle, and life sort of flows without a designated direction or plan. I strayed from groups most of the time and did my own thing. I liked being able to tell stories to those who just started their journey and encourage them to see it through solo.

I liked my loneliness because it gave me power to make any decision for where and what I was going to do that day.

Like jumping out of a plane without a static line or tandem partner, you've taken responsibility for survival into your own hands and intuition.

Fear keeps us alive, unless we have learned to only cower and decay the potential confidence we could have built after taking our steps of courage.

Now I'm not alone, and most days it's incrediblely heavy.

I travel as a family with my fiance and her daughter. I've met some amazing backpacking parents along the way, and I wanted to try this head first after the universe had sent me a family to build love around.

It's not as fun as I thought it would be.

I worry more about well being and comfort. Environments that are rich in opportunities for her to experience and practice bravery. I am often thinking of another life before my own.

The rewards versus the difficulty would likely cause me to think that I'm using too much energy for my investment.

I took her indoor rock climbing and she was scared. But after she reached the 15 meter point and dropped down she told me,

I kept telling myself, I can do this! I can do this!

I was thinking as a cowardly entrepreneur consuming drama to decide when I was going to FUD this family I was so scared that I couldn't be part of.

She inspired me, instead. Her worth wasn't the progress I had in mind. Her worth is reminding me of the human experience we once had before wonder and dreams were replaced with reality and failure.

It is essential to believe we are children still, in the journey to being a parent who raises wonderful people.

Thank you for tuning in :)