My last post made for some interesting conversation in the comments and I'd like to thank everyone who participated! It's really amazing to me that people share so much of their own experience and advice for a stranger. We are more alike than we are different. Every day confirms this.
I want to say the trip was flawless but unfortunately a lot of stuff happened. Or, maybe, it was fortunate?
I got late at the airport only to find out that the plane was delayed. Spend some qulity time in the airport shops and wondered once again - like Seinfeld did - "do people in the airport have any idea what prices are...anywhere else?!". There was this stand where you could charge your phone if you had your own usb wire. Of course, I jumped on it, pretty happy that I can keep it high. Too bad that I forgot the wire in the device...
The flight was hellish. So many people, so many babies. So many babies crying! I was literally surrrounded by babies crying. I wanted to have a "mute" button when I realized that...I ACTUALLY HAVE!. I took out my hearing aid and put it in my pocket. All was silent. Cool trick, right?
I reached the other side after a very stressful flight. Imagining that I'll crash, I felt sad. I want to do so much now that dying seems a waste. I felt sad for not knowing what I'd do and how it would be to do it. On landing, I felt refreshed with a new intense feeling of "liveliness". I loved it. But then I realized two things:
- I missed the train. I had bought tickets before so I could just jump in it ( and they were cheaper! ). Unfortunately, did not account for 1 and a half delay. Had to buy a new ticket.
- The battery of my hearing aid somehow fell off in the plane and now I was with no backup and essentially deaf in a new country.
I panicked a little but was sure I'll get there as they have a lot of helpful people in these "first world" countries and anyway, you only have to interact with machines for tickets and stuff. Worst case scenario, I had my phone and could text my friend for instructions....
...only to realize that I only had 10% battery and my wire gone.
OOPS!
It's fun to me how little things compound to put you in a very interesting situation. But again, it was good. I wanted to test myself and see what I'd do when things don't go smoothly. I took the next train - a sorry ass train if I ever seen one - and after a looong trip and a crazy expensive cab drive I finally reached my destination with my phone off. I made it!
The things were more complicated when I got back. My train again failed me. 30 minutes delayed and skipped a few stations one of which I wanted to get off at. I finally found myself very very far away from the airport and with an hour to get there. Where was I even?
After inquiring ( having bought new batteries thank god for that!) I decided I had to get one more cab. Expecting a 50 pounds fare which is still cheaper than a plane ticket, I jumped into the first one. I was pleasantly surprised! The cab driver was nice and helpful - and what's really important and different from my normal experience: very fair. I did not have to worry that I'll get fleeced - and got me to the airport just in time.
It was a very stressful morning all in all and I was wired. I manged to somehow drop my watch at the boarder control and it broke. Well, losing is also part of the journey I guess.
Looks like a goner...
Anyway, all these things were unfortunate but what REALLY bothers me is all the things that did not happen but I worried about. The constant pull of the "worst case scenario" that took me further and further away from the journey.
Why worry if I'll make to the airport..in the cab? I am already in the cab, I did my part, now is the moment to relax and see how it all unfolds: will we have an accident? will we be caught in traffic? Will the driver miss the airport exit?
I dunno, but let's find out instead of staying in the back a ball of stress not enjoying a very cool drive in those unique brittish cabs.
Same with flying: Worrying about crushing is useless. The odds are you won't but no matter what, you can not...fly the plane better, can you?
Same with most things.
This is energy lost, time spent inspecting fantastic future that will never happen while missing all the present that does happen.
I have some positive thoughts too. In all these, even when I was the most panicked I reminded myself that this is what I wanted!. Adventures, travelling, unknown, testing yourself against the unexpected. It was nothing really dangerous after all. It was just a little unexpected.
I tried to be back in the moment, in the now, taking it all in. Growing.
I hope I did well but only next trip will tell.
Thank you for reading.