Reserved a room for myself at the Hotel Foreheal in Gangnam Seoul. Vanity. Self Expression. Self Realisation. Calamity. Requisite revision. In that order. Those are the reasons I am travelling to Seoul. Plastic Surgery capital of Asia if not the world. Will I feel at home there? Will I fit right in? Ms. Plastic Fantastic. Potential pseudonym or wishful thinking. Not sure.
"You say plastic like it's a bad thing."
Well you do. Don't you?
Fake. Unnatural. Done. I am all of those "terrible" things but you are drinking from a plastic cup. I am decidedly #plasticpositive.
"So affected and so concerned about what other people think. There is no such thing as perfect... You know?".
Yes. I know.
Faces are masks. We are never ourselves. Natural. Naturally speaking via electronic devices. Naturally speaking from the creature comfort filled cave of the modern cave man. I don't have time to change the world. My argument is not with the dribbling beasts of monoculture. I am not making a political statement. Standards of perception and perfection are unfortunate but incidental tools of my tool kit.
"Let your little light shine! Unleash your inner goddess! Your beauty is within!" Hollow aphorisms hold no water. Empty little cocoons of conversational comfort. False preachers of precious unexamined hypocrisy.
A broken bone here. An augmented shape. An asymmetry corrected. An paralysed muscle.
Rhinoplasty. Genioplasty. Septoplasty.
Don't waste time!
I know a secret. I learned it the hard way. "You are beautiful" is an antiquated cure all. Mothers learn it from grandmothers. Grandmothers learn it from great grandmothers. A convenient poultice whipped out for a tender moment. If there is nothing wrong with being ugly, then there is nothing right about being beautiful.
"You are beautiful." It is seductive snake oil. It is placebo. It is misguided misdirection. It is a hope expressed. A well meant inaccuracy. An ineffective supplement for a non existent disease. The perfect product for multi level, feel better soon, get rich quick, learn to love yourself "schemes". "You are beautiful" is the caustic by product of a system designed to breed unhappiness by capitalising on difference. Difference is not diversity.
Don't see me as I am.
See me as I want to be.
Five days in January. 21st till the 25th. One week to find out what sort of corrective surgery is required. Teeth. Nose. Jaw. All shifting, over time and the pressures "faced" slowly to the left. What should I do? My self portrait is supposed to be symmetrical? I insist. Or at the very least, mostly symmetrical. I hope.
I almost decided not to go. India seemed so convincing. Priyamed was so accommodating. Dr. Telang was so calm and mild. But if I am painting a self portrait, then perhaps I should choose my instruments after i've seen them all. No more careless well meaning strokes by apprentices and pretenders. I will not wear another mistake well.
Don't see me as I am.
See me as I want to be.
Photo Credit: (whoever it was who took the CT scan)