Today I'm leaving the town where I've lived for the past 2 years and 8 months. Like the day I came here, I have very little money in my pocket, no job to go to, and only a vague idea of what lies ahead of me. But this time, it feels right.
When I came to Germany, I felt glad to leave Malta and the part of my life that I had spent there, but I felt insecure about Germany and wasn't sure I was doing the right thing by coming here.
Now, I feel a little sad to leave, but excited to go--both of which are improvements on last time, and that makes me happy.
So where am I going? I'm heading for the region of Asturias in the north of Spain. Some friends of mine there have invited me to live with them and try to make a living together.
Looking back, I can see this story has been coming together for some time. One year ago, I applied for a job teaching English in Spain. The job offer included an apartment in Asturias during the periods between traveling throughout the country. It sounded so amazing and I really hoped to get it. I even had a gut feeling that I would. But I didn't.
And I couldn't understand why my gut feeling had let me down. Now I do: It wasn't wrong, it just wasn't the right time. And now it is.
While I was waiting to hear back from that job offer, I did a little research about Asturias and fell in love with it from a distance. Asturias is a green land of mountains, rivers, and beaches, famous for its apple cider and Celtic culture.
I also found a listing for an abandoned stone farmhouse that was for sale at a ridiculously low price. I bookmarked the page and I think it's safe to say that I've looked at it about once a day since then. It's been my dream to buy it, fix it up, and run a small farm with chickens, a goat, a dog, and maybe even a little Asturian horse.
A few months ago, I started talking regularly with a Spanish couple I knew through my time on the ship Doulos. I didn't know at first that they actually lived in Asturias, but when I found out, it seemed like our destinies might be tied together somehow. Although we've never actually met in person, we have felt so much solidarity because we've gone through a lot of the same struggles and suffering over the past few years.
When they heard that my boss had died and I was out of a job, they invited me to come and share their home and their lives with them. And although from a worldly perspective it doesn't make much sense for three people who have had such bad luck to join forces together, I feel peace about it. It feels right. Our stories fit together.
And we hope for better luck, and we pray for that every day, though sometimes we're so tired we don't even know what to say. We scheme together and brainstorm ideas. Sometimes we panic. But I feel a flame of hope in my heart that I haven't felt for a long time.