“Why do you go to these exotic places?” That’s what my boss says. “Use that money for something useful, like paying your mortgage.” She’s right but she also gets anxious out of the county.
“I’d rather spend money on a car” a workmate says “because when you come home from your trips you’ve got nothing to show for it.” The thing is he’s never even had a passport.
They’re unmoved when I tell them I’ll always have memories and indifferent to photos. So how do I tell them I’ve gained something much more valuable from time away? How can I point out that I am what I get to keep?
They’ll never understand that my views, which are so different from theirs, were not bred at home. They’ve been shaped in places beyond their comprehension like the crowded alleys of Fez or chugging down the sluggish Mekong.
I’ve felt this way since my early twenties and it’s all because a holiday to Bali with my brothers changed my life forever.
I’m not claiming it was an overwhelming spiritual awakening, if I’m being honest we were kind of loutish, drank too much and only ate Western food. We were guilty the type of culturally insensitive behaviour I try and avoid now but I suppose we all have to learn our trade somewhere.
Back home we went straight to the pub to congratulate ourselves on a successful trip. I sat in a place I’d spent many happy nights and I knew it was not enough anymore. When I closed my eyes I could picture the vivid green of the jungle as our minibus raced to Ubud for a day trip and I knew there was much more out there. I’d changed and it was time to go.
Memories are something but even now, seventeen years later, the merest whiff of fetid water from a drain can transport me back to sultry cities, humid days and carefree times.
In Europe I met my future wife and a lifetime commitment was sealed on a haphazard trip to Morocco. I smile now at how out of our depth we were.
Being reckless and in love will only get you so far, other skills we gathered along the way. An ability to be firm but polite is essential, striking a fair deal for everyone is a legitimate talent and wisdom is knowing when a smile will soothe.
Life is perceived differently in foreign lands and we realise a journey is not just skipping from one beautiful place to the next. There’s suffering in the world and a person can’t experience it without profound personal change.
Life is more complex because of travel and not so black and white. For instance I know the refugees are people too, not just terrorists in disguise.
When people say “Send them back.”
I say “It’s not that easy, it’s tricky. You see…”
They roll their eyes but sometimes I know they’re listening as they concede “I see what you’re saying.”