"Worrying won't stop the bad stuff from happening. It just stops you from enjoying the good." -- Unknown
I'm going to let you in on a secret; I worry. A lot. I set high expectations for myself and I worry even more when it seems I won't meet those expectations.
Well, two weeks ago, I went on a trip to Montreal. A trip that I knew would cause me to get a bit behind on work when I have a few important things coming up, and would cause me to get behind on studying when I have an upcoming licensing exam. But, I decided to go anyway.
You know the feeling when timing isn't great, but you just need a break? Yeah. That's how I had been feeling for the past 5 months. So I went. I tried my best to let myself take in all the lessons I had learned in my yoga practice: breathe, be mindful, be patient, don't let these feelings get the best of you... All that good stuff. Yet in moments when I found myself feeling happy, I would suddenly get snapped back to reality, and suddenly I would start feeling guilty. I felt guilty that I wasn't doing more and guilty for traveling given the circumstances. Essentially, I felt guilty for taking time for myself and letting myself take a break from all that had been causing insane levels of stress.
Those feelings returned to me throughout the trip. It seemed I couldn't shake them. I would think of endless reasons why I shouldn't be doing what I was and a list of things I should have been doing instead flooded my mind.
Well, the fact of the matter was, I needed a break and I was where I was. Worrying and stressing about it wouldn't help, it would simply hinder me from appreciating all that I was experiencing... And THAT is what would make my trip worthless. I realized that most of the guilt I was feeling was put on myself based on those high expectations set by ME. Expectations I didn't even really need to meet yet. I made a decision right then and there; worry would no longer control me or take away from the experiences on this trip. I forced myself to let go of guilt. I told myself that this was exactly where I needed to be. I reminded myself this was important too.
Of course, this decision drastically changed my experiences throughout the trip. I felt like a load had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt I could truly appreciate all of the beauty, culture, and art that surrounded me. Here are some of the highlights of the trip, once I learned to let some things go:
The Leonhard Cohen exhibit at the Museum of Contemporary Art was honestly a life-changing experience. It activated all senses and really let you see all aspects of Leonhard Cohen's life from his struggles, successes, and creations. The exhibit even included an incredible virtual reality experience.
Here is some of the stunning architecture I saw while strolling the streets of the city:
Although the Cohen exhibit and beautiful architecture were definitely top contenders, I have to say, the food and delicious cafes most likely stole the spot for my most favorite part about Montreal. Apparently Montreal has more restaurants per capita So. Many. Options.
The biggest takeaway I learned from this trip, is to not put yourself last, and especially don't let guilt take away from your experiences. Live in the moment & live to the fullest.