This is going to be tricky but i'm going to give it a good go. Last January I gave up alcohol for what I thought would be a month. This turned into 3 months and was surprisingly easy. This year I’ve decided to try 6 months. It will be difficult because I really do enjoy a drink. Many of my favourite memories involve alcohol.
For example, I can remember hiking through a sweltering Joshua Tree National Park some years ago. We got incredibly lost and ended up walking for miles.
It was stunning. Nothing quite like i've ever seen before with wonderful rock formations and Joshua Trees everywhere. When we got back to our motel we showered and changed then headed out to the local saloon feeling exhausted but still buzzing from the hike. We sat at the bar and drank bourbon and coke with cheeseburgers. I could literally feel the whiskey have it's relaxing effect on my tired muscles....it was sublime.
On another trip to the states I visited my sister in San Francisco. We found an incredible seafood restaurant called “Sotto Mare”. I was introduced to the local oysters and Dungeness crab which we ate with a glass of Pink Champagne...... pure bliss.
Then there is the obligatory Provencal Rose to accompany Tartiflette in the French Alps.... and the ice cold lager on a Mediterranean beach... and the best Margaritas ever in LA.... I could go on forever!
However, my relationship with alcohol is like a set of scales. Sometimes the benefits will far outweigh the negative effects. On other occasions the consequences will supersede any fun alcohol gives me by a mile. After dabbling last year with reducing the alcohol in my life, I can safely say that right now the negatives far outweigh the positives. And so my quest for sobriety begins.
Alcohol effects my relationship with my kids. In the past my daily glass of wine at the end of the day served a valuable purpose. In fact, during particularly dark times it was vital and served as my lifeline…. my survival tactic. However, after a few years, when things calmed down I noticed alcohol had more of a detrimental effect. I realised that I was beginning to rush my children’s bedtime stories in anticipation of the chilled glass of wine waiting for me downstairs. When I’m booze free, I can relish bedtime and embrace this precious time with them. It’s regrettably the only time in the day when they have my undivided attention.…. and they deserve it. I sometimes spend some time in my sons bed snuggling with him for ages. We like putting our faces together so our noses are touching. We just stare at each other's eyes for as long as we like. No words are spoken. Similarly, my daughters can now enjoy me reading lengthy books without suspecting I am rushing through the procedure in desperation to get my fix downstairs. They’re not stupid after all.
When it comes to my relationship with my partner there's no doubt alcohol has a detrimental effect. We might "bond" over a bottle of wine but this sometimes turns into a dispute and at best we end up in separate rooms chilling individually. I’ll watch a mind numbing TV programme while he surfs the net. Then we go to bed…. at separate times. When we are both t-total we often choose a TV series to watch together. We snuggle on the sofa together, we chat and we almost always go to bed together.
Life is generally richer without alcohol and I find myself excited about the day ahead and looking for fun things to do. I've started Cross Country Running and this gives me something to look forward to. More than anything else, I love returning from a run and curling up in front of the fire with some food and then falling into a warm bed with a good book, my muscles throbbing from the run. I know I will wake up fresh, fully hydrated and ready for the day ahead.
I now appreciate the necessity to be the best I possibly can, every day. I used to look at my kids sometimes when I had a little fuzzy head from a drink the night before. I would envy their energy and their innocence and I would wish I felt as clean inside as they do every morning. Now I really do.... and it's just as amazing as I had hoped.
