When I'm traveling, I never miss home. I have two homes, actually, and Portland, Oregon is one of them (nomad problems).
Skip to the bold parts if you wanna get straight to the good stuff.
I saw that 
Thinking of all the places I’d show them made me miss PDX a lot!
I LOVE showing people around and showing them a good time. I've been on couchsurfing.com for several years because I like hosting people at my place and making sure they have a good time!
So, this post is for you three, and whoever you end up meeting up with. If I were there in person, I’d just surprise you guys and not give you a guide (unless you hate surprises). I think it’s fun to just take people to cool places and then see their reaction.
But, for the sake of giving you guys a lil’ tour from afar, I guess I have to make a bucket list of a few things that I’d take you to in PDX. Some of it is stereotypical Portland stuff, but some of it isn't stereotypical at all.
Travel Like A Basic B (Aka Stuff Definitely On Trip Advisor)
Ok. Lemme just get the stereotypical, “you should do this in Portland" stuff out of the way first. These are actually pretty cool, though, so I’d try some of it if you have a chance.
Shanghai Tunnels
Do you guys know about the underground tunnels beneath Portland? You won’t believe the CRAZY way that people got kidnapped and taken down there.
Seriously, it blew my mind when I found out how people were going missing and ending up in these secret tunnels that ran for miles underneath the city.
Good activity if it’s raining outside because you’ll be underground (or even if it’s not raining. I really liked it!). Watch out for 👻
Japanese Garden & Rose Garden 🌹
Do these together because they’re right next to each other. Check first if the rose garden is open, though. Both of these are amazing, and if you have to pick between Japanese and Chinese garden…the Japanese one is better I think.
Ride The OMSI Aerial Tram
You get a dope view from the highest point of the city, and it’s a fun and cheap little ride!!!
Ninja School
You already know about it so enough said.
Stuff Maybe On Trip Advisor
Just walk on ALL of Alberta street. Lot’s of instagrammable steepshottable things on that street.
If you go onto that street... pop into Boxer Ramen, if anything just to take a pic of the ceiling.
Might as well head over to Bollywood Theatre across the street as well. They have great food and a great atmosphere (yes…they have vegetarian options).
Speaking of checking out cool streets, just check out all of Division and Hawthorne while you’re at it. Artifact on Division is a cool store to pop into.
Food And Drink Spots 🍻
Hubers
Go here and order a Flaming Spanish coffee 🔥 💃
Kennedy School
I LOVE this place. It’s an old school that’s been turned into a bunch of restaurants/bars/hotel on the inside. There’s also a pool in there!! Definitely 100% order the tots. The sauce that comes with them is amazing.
You might even want to stick them in your pocket like Napoleon Dynamite:
(This image is stolen from wifflegif, which kinda makes me giggle.)
Great place to go to if it’s raining because you don’t have to go outside to get to the next cool hang out spot…it’s all inside the school! Again, watch out for 👻
Cartopia On Hawthorne
These are the food carts on Hawthorne. Maybe you could get some PB&J poutine if you want. Check out Tov Coffee Bus on Hawthorne if it happens to be open. It’s like you’re entering Turkey or Egypt. At least go inside and look at it if you're walking by.
Edgefield McMenamins
If the weather is nice, go here!!!! It’s amazing!! It’s an old mental asylum turned awesome sauce restaurant/hotel/vineyard/winery/garden/spa/etc.
Yeah, there are ghosties again, but totally worth it.
I’d go here on your way to or back from Multnomah falls (if they’re open again. A lot of hiking spots/nature has been blocked off because of forest fires last September).
Moberri
I’m sure you’ve seen this (have you seen Shark Tank?). But in case you haven't heard of it, you pedal a bike and there’s a blender attached to it that blends your smoothie up for you as you workout!
Haha, that's my dad concentrating REALY hard with his tongue out. It's the only way you can accomplish blending a smoothie successfully 😛
Slappy Cakes
Go here if you feel like playing with your food, or if you feel like having the best coconut syrup in the world. They basically give you pancake batter in a bottle so you can draw a bunch of pictures with pancake batter and then eat it.
Tea Bar
They have “healthy” dessert, vegan, gluten-free and all that. It’s on Division street which you should check out, anyway. The closest one for you is located on 4330 SE Division. Open from 8am- 8pm er'y day.
Vegan, activated charcoal, lavender, raw local honey soft serve. Hey, did you know that raw local honey can heal allergies? It's true. I used it to clear up mine. Haven't had allergy problems in 7 years now.
Rose, cardamom, beetroot tea. It's seriously yum on a stick.
Blue Star Doughnuts
Ok, honestly, I haven't eaten a donut in years. And the "tourist" thing to do is to go to Voodoo donuts on West Burnside and get a picture with the sign.
But, according to everyone who eats donuts, Blue Star tastes better.
I just like how they give you this thing that looks like a science experiment:
Located on 3549 SE Hawthorne Blvd.
Breweries
Rogue.
Deschutes.
Those two are the most popular.
But, have you heard of beard beer?! Yes, you can now help keep Portland weird by drinking beer that was made from a man's yeasty beard.
Stuff That’s Definitely Not On Your Stereotypical Portland List
Goat Yoga
Check out https://goatyoga.net/ and see if you can book a class.
Roadside Attraction
If you want to drink a beer or wine or something, this place is really quirky and unique. You MIGHT miss it at first and drive by it, but then when you get a better look at it, you’ll do a double take and go “Ohhh. That’s why they call it "roadside attraction.”
It happens every time.
Rimsky-korsakoffee house
After Roadside, just go a block over to this place. You don’t have to drink coffee here or anything. Just pop in, run upstairs and go inside the bathroom. Just do it.
(Have you guys seen this Dora the explorer SNL parody? It’s OLD. But still stuck in my head. Stole the meme from the internets)
Take a picture of your feet on the PDX airport carpet
Oh man, you guys could all put your feet together and post your feet on the blockchain, to be together forever! Haha aww, how sweet.
Don’t ask me why, but it’s the trending thing to take a picture of your feet on the PDX airport carpet. Just check out instagram for proof. Way too many feet pics up in there. Oh crap, it’s probably too late to do this since you’re road tripping to Cali.
(took the pic from wikipedia. Yeah, they wrote about Portland airport carpet on there haha).
Belmont Goats
You can drink beer with goats in Belmont. I mean, I don’t think the goats drink the beer, too, but hmm that could be an interesting experiment...
See The Smallest Park In The World
This one just makes me laugh, because I mean it's literally just a few inches of a park.
I don't even know how you'd know you were looking at it, honestly, because I don't think there's a sign for it. It's just
at an intersection in Southwest Portland. It's called Mill Ends Park.
It honestly just reminds me of when I lived in CR and they would plant trees in potholes in the road instead of just fixing the road! Haha.
Stuff That Depends On What Day It Is
One cool thing about Portland is there’s always SOMETHING going on. There’s always usually 20 million things going on at once (ok fine, slight exaggeration).
There’s an app called “PDX Pipeline.” Go ahead and download that sucker.
That way you can see what’s going on while you’re in town. A lot of events are advertised on there.
Silent Dance Party
Check the PDX pipeline app for this. They change to a new surprise location every week. It's so cool because you can change the headphones to whatever music you want and everyone is just dancing around to their own beat.
And no one knows why people are dancing with no music!!
Portland Night Market
It’s super awesome if it’s happening while you’re there. I’d definitely go if it’s going on at the same time
Tulip Festival Maybe?
You may be able to catch the end of the Woodburn Tulip Festival. It’s usually in April, if you wanna be all basic and get pictures in tulip fields and stuff (I did it.Guess that makes me basic).
-Come in July or in October and I’ll show you some REALLY unique experiences…like the Oregon State fair (it’s basically burning man in the woods) or boat racing inside giant pumpkins.
Oregon Fair
Hiking, Waterfalls, And Nature
So, all of my favorite hiking spots were murdered last September when some teenager thought it would be funny to through a firecracker into the gorge and then start a 30k acre forest fire.
So, if you can’t go to Angel’s rest to hike, or in the gorge at all…I sincerely apologize from the bottom of my heart, because the top of Angel’s rest may be one of my favorite views in the world. The rock formations are awesome, the water is beautiful, you’re way up higher than the birds…it’s basically heaven on earth.
The punchbowl is a good hike as well. It’s not AS pretty as Angel’s Rest, but it’s slightly easier. Most likely closed right now.
Here's Angel's Rest
Multnomah Falls
I heard they’re open again, so you can at least do that. There's no hiking required to see them, and they’re in the top 150 tallest waterfalls in the world. I don’t know if that’s interesting or not, but just pretend it is for me, please, ok?
Actually fun fact! They USED to be listed as the TALLEST in the world…but since then way better ones have been discovered. Precisely at least 150. Haha that’s kind of anti-climactic.
But you guys…size doesn’t matter. They’re stunning no matter their size.
Remember to combine going to Multnomah with Edgefield!!!
Silver Falls State Park
There are 10 Waterfalls all within this park. Ten. And they’re amazing. Here’s a view from underneath just one of them:
They’re for sure open because they thankfully weren’t touched by any gangster forest fires.
Cape Kiwanda
If you go towards the coast for some reason, Cape Kiwanda is the best spot. It's beyond beautiful! Pacific city is right next door and kinda fun to explore as well. But the main thing is the Cape. It's all about the cape.
There’s a lot more to do in Portland. You could explore for months and not be done. But these are some of my favorite things…so I just want to share them with you!! Have a wonderful trip!!