alt

Experience

So why do I choose to answer this in my own words?
I choose this because it's something I have struggled with for most of my life.
Since I was a young lad I always had this moment when life would shatter even if I had nothing to worry about.
Why was this my parents wondered, he has everything he needs, we were not well off but we had enough.
Ok so why? Well skipping ahead many years after plenty of heartache and finding myself lost in the world stuck with no way out it seemed.

Discovery

My Mom, rest her soul, found out she was bipolar, her discovery of this helped her look back at my behavior, and it explained everything I was going through, and yes it was a self destructive mentality that came along with it. And my life was going no where.

Redemption

So being very interested in this new discovery lead me down a new path of acceptance and redemption.
I started to learn everything I could about the disability. I mean everything, but it took some years to get on any type of medication that could help. But knowing became half the battle. So the fight was on to discover who I was with this new disability called "bipolar". Well at the time it was still very new, not many doctors had the answers I was looking for.

The struggle

The struggle was more apparent then ever, and though I knew it, it did not stop the wake of destruction to everything & everyone even myself. I struggled over the years with thoughts of suicide and self mutilation on top of everything else, not being able to hold a steady job for more then a few weeks or months depending on my ups and downs.
So the struggle was real, so how did I deal.

alt

Dealing with bipolar

After finally getting some sort of help and being around family after my mom's death lead me to seek official medical mental treatment for this to balance out my cycle of this now more apparent mental illness. Because just knowing is not enough to solve the problem. I got on some medication and made some changes and yes found "God" again in my life.

Spirituality

Well having a since of spirituality was a major change in my life, it's not perfect but it helps in so many ways to give your life up to a loving father who knows you more then you know yourself. Whether you believe or not, spirituality is a know part of our human existence. Once we recognize and reconnect to that source of light we change everything in our lives.
Now I'm not going to say this was a fix all solution but life changing to say the least.

Side note about my escapism

For Years words and music comforted me. This lead me down a path of years of poetry, a gift it seemed. Like these bipolar issues running through my veins would just bleed out onto paper. Sometimes I would even mark it with blood. What I'm trying to say is poetry has literally saved my life a number of times. I was never focused enough to fully learn music until later on in my life as poetry was great and all but I, finding a sense of balance, replaced it with sound later to become songs of a new kind of life I was finding myself in.

Drugs/alcohol

Lets of course not leave out the struggle there. Yes in most forms I've done it, not proud but not regretting the experience. Its years of trying to self medicate which is escaping in the moment but not helping. Sad to say most struggle with it as it does come along for the ride with this destructive attitude this struggle to be some kind of normal. Always wondering why me.

Family & today

I never had a super tight loving family but love was there. I was always finding places to live with friends at the time and that wake of destruction along for the ride. Well today I dont have alot of friends but the ones I do have support me and give me my space, because sadly I will always struggle with this.

Though my life is better today then it has ever been I have to be careful/cautious and open to a reality I share with my new family. Because now it's not just me I have to stay balanced for my family the best I can. I've yes since settled down with my new family today is more supportive then ever, bless them for this they dont deserve to have these times I freak out and regret saying something or breaking something or just sad and depressed most of the time because of it.

The deal

Well we deal with it, we show love at all times. We dont nag one another to keep balance. When I'm in that state of mind I am given time to heal, prayer and Jehovah God are in my life along with a minimal amount of medication daily to suppress the depression, so I live as balanced and happy as I can and have ever since the discovery.

alt

Trust me this is not easy but it is doable, and I may not be a great writer but I think you can get the point of the story.

The struggle of the life I live as "krazypoet" a good guy who means well and is doing the best he can to survive with this disability in a positive way.

And not afraid to share this reality, because it is me but it does not define me, but sharing can help someone understand and help them to help themselves like I have over the years.

LIST OF STEPS THAT HELP

discovery - knowing is half the battle
acceptance - know what's wrong try and find ways to help
medication - whether you choose to or not it does help but it's not for everyone
diet/exercise - this does change your balance
spirituality - God changes everything
love - love is the defining quality
patience - is a must
outlet/hobby - I recommend some kind of hobby that you love to do whether good at it or not
sleep - you must rest your mind and body
one with nature - get out and connect with nature and release

Well that's all I can think of right now hope it helps or expresses enough to understand some more about me as a fellow human being

alt

Place: my heart, my brain, my love, my pain
Thing: How does one deal with/accept a loved one who displays self destructive tendencies? Art & Positive Vibes
Hashtag: #tribesteemup #selfdestructive #attitude #bipolar #bewell #steem #blockchain #tribelove #tribe
From: Me
To: You