I have been thinking about how there is often no real contact between people even though we interact. I have seen often that people don't really see each other. Instead we often see something in the other person that is very much preset in our minds. I was wondering what that preset something was and came to the concept of materialism.
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What is materialism exactly? Is it when you just love stuff?
Let's look at the definition of it:
Materialism
noun
a tendency to consider material possessions and physical comfort as more important than spiritual values.
"they hated the sinful materialism of the wicked city"
PHILOSOPHY
the theory or belief that nothing exists except matter and its movements and modifications.
https://www.google.com/search?q=Dictionary
Yes, so materialism makes us prioritise matter above spirit, wether it is because we feel it's more important, or believe that focussing on the spiritual leaves us in scarcety material-wise, or even that we think the world of spirit doesn't exist. However we put it:
Materialists think in terms of matter. So matter comes first in life.
And I even want to make that definition more broad: Any time we are trying to 'HAVE' something, instead of 'BEING' something, we are being materialsistic in my opinion.
So for example: When we are prioritising to 'get' a degree in say a doctors education just for the sake of being able to show it, over having the experience of learning something about healing people or 'being' a doctor, then we are being materialistic.
Or it can be an experience like seeing the Eifel tower, that we are trying to 'have' just to tick a box on our mechanical list of things we feel we need to 'have' experienced, instead of just doing it for the fun of it and actually really experiencing it, then we are also being materialistic in my defenition.
So in that sense it's not always about 'stuff' because some things you can't touch but you can still 'have'. It's all about the attitude.
So, I hope that made sense somehow.
What I asked myself was:
What happens in interaction between people when a person puts material gain/having things first?
Then the other person is seen as a means to and end.
This can apply to any kind of contact.
For example the contact you have with a person at the drive in counter of a snack bar.
What do we want from them?
If we are a materialist, we merely want them to give us our food already and we might not even get off the phone to say 'Thank you' as they are just a means to the end of supplying us with food. We don't consider them a person with a life and needs of their own. We are not interested in them beyond them serving us to help us achieve our goals. They are basically an object to us. We don't see past their physicality and it's function to us.
Another great example would be the way the crew of the starship Voyager in the series Star trek, treat their holographic doctor when he first comes online and they have not much experience of dealing with a holographic person. What they do basically, is treat the holographic doctor as an object as they believe he is. When he talks too much according to their liking or says things they don't like to hear they mute his vocal functions mid-sentence or when he really gets on their nerves they just say: Computer, shut down medical hologram and they don't have to deal with him at all anymore.
When we are honest isn't that the attitude we can have with people sometimes, that we just want to mute them or shut them down because what they are embodying is not fulfilling our needs? And because we can't mute other people or shut them down, we often resort to judgement saying things to the other person like: Wow, you are really loud, messy, unorganised, high maintenance, too sensitive etc. But what does that really say about ourselves? It just says we have certain needs the other person isn't meeting. It doesn't make them any of the things we described them with when judging them.
The other thing it says about ourselves is that we have little interest in the other person beyond their ability to fulfil our needs, we basically objectify them. 'Ouch.' I say ouch because this is painful for both people in this example. There is no real contact. We think we are connecting but we actually are just making bussines transactions with each other. Will you give this to me, then I will do that for you.
I was wondering could this be because there is so much goal orientedness going on ( Yang quality), that it leaves very little space for receptivity ( Yin quality)? When there is not enough receptivity, then our goals will always dictate the way our interactions go and we can't just wait and see what wants to happen when we let it.
The next question I asked myself is:
How do we relate to ourselves when we see the world in a materialistic way?
Much in the same way actually. Surprising? Not really as we treat others like we treat ourselves deep down.
I have found we treat ourselves as an object too! We see ourselves as a means to the end of achieving the (materialistic) goals we set in our minds. And we are often very inconsiderate with our health and feelings or spiritual guidance in the proces. We are not open to seeing what life tries to teach us on our journey, no we are preoccupied because we have goals to achieve.
Most of us have been brought up like that. Even though our parents loved us we were often not given the space to be the individuals who came to earth with our own soul purposes. We were often seen as objects that did or did not fulfil our parents needs.
Even though the goals and needs are not always purely materialistic, I believe that objectifying others and ourselves in such a way does come from this materialistic world view that is quite prominent in our culture and prioritises 'having' above 'being' is important to be looked at. Don' t get me wrong: Wanting to 'have something' is perfectly fine, as long as it doesn't become our priority. The 'having' needs to be in service of the 'being' in my humble opinion.
To find out where we stand in this perspective, we can ask ourselves:
Do we judge ourselves according to how well we succeeded in achieving our ( materialistic) goals, that may even have been our parents goals to begin with? Do we make space for ourselves to let ourselves be who we need to be right now?
Or do we push ourselves onwards, not listening to our present needs or spiritual guidance, chasing some plan in our head that has lost all connection to life, trying to 'have' something? Are we still treating ourselves like your parents did, when they didn't see us and wanted us to work with them towards what they felt was important, needed us to be a certain way so that they 'got' what they needed?
Are we listening to ourselves, being loyal to our true hearts desires? What is it that we really want that our soul has come to earth for? Can we give that to ourselves?
And can we do that for others?
Can we see the other, the person at the drive in? Get off our phone and greet them, see in their face how they are feeling, What it is that they need at that moment. Maybe it is just a 'Thank you.' and a warm smile.
Can we have patience with someone when their behaviour isn't fitting with the goals we are trying to achieve and see that they are trying to do what their soul came to earth for? Can we see that it serves our soul to hold space for them, because in respecting other peoples souls we respect our own. And that gives so much more gain then material gain or 'having something' could ever provide because it makes us feel connected and happy.
And it's all about the connection isn't it?
And connection can only come when we let go of needing to 'have something' and can relax in to 'being'.
To be or not to be, that is the question!
Lots of Love Clara 
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