The "Pee-Pee Tape" - A Busted Flush(!)

SINCE SACKED FBI director James Comey is back in the news, let's turn a new light on his conduct during the so-called "Golden Shower" affair. We can do this because the memos that Mr Comey wrote when the affair erupted (in early 2017) are now available for inspection. You shouldn't need reminding of what "scandal" this was all about, but if you have been living in a cave since 2016, you can catch up via this link.

The important thing to remember here is that there is no way of proving the "pee-pee tape" doesn't exist. But no-one needs to prove that in the first place. The people who believe it does exist are the ones who have to prove it. Meantime, let's look at the private reactions of Trump and Comey when the story first emerged. When we lack hard evidence, it is often people's behaviour that is the most telling indicator of truth or falsehood.

There are three key moments that, I think, give us the perspective we need.

1: Comey's Ambush

Here is what Mr Comey's own contemporaneous memorandums say about the first meeting in which he raised the sordid rumour with the President-elect (on 7^th January 2017). As you can see, Comey gave Trump zero advance warning, and Trump had zero time in which to concoct any kind of cover-story.

The interesting thing here is that it's not the details about urine that trigger Trump's instant rejection -- it's the mention of prostitutes. That's unexpected and it's also definitive.

Comey's description of Trump's reaction gives it the ring of truth. Comey's observations chime with the way in which most people's long-term memories work. First of all, when confronted with a lie about ourselves, we object to the untrue statement. Then, to reassure ourselves, we reach far back into our old memories to double-check that we aren't mistaken. You can try this process on anyone you know, and watch the results -- it will be pretty much the same. First the rejection, which is instinctual, and then a slightly more thoughtful explanation. Liars don't often react like that.

The bit about Trump "assuming his hotel rooms are wired" also rings true. He's not some wide-eyed innocent. Any top-end business executive can tell you that espionage (both the industrial and non-industrial varieties) is a very real and ever-present concern.

Anyway, here's what happened in the next few moments of the meeting.

2: Comey's Evasive Action

Having delivered his little bombshell (and noted Trump's reaction to it), G-Man Comey quickly shifts the emphasis of the conversation. He informs the incoming President that the news media are about to publish stories concerning the rumour and that he thought Trump ought to be made aware. Meanwhile, Trump is still recovering from Comey's surprise. So he probably didn't notice Comey's slippery little manoeuvre!

After this meeting, Comey and Trump didn't discuss the rumour again until three weeks later.

3: Comey gives Trump the brush-off (subtly)

On 28^th January 2017, with Trump finally in the White House, he and Comey had a private dinner together. Here is Comey's account of that meeting, again from a memorandum that Comey typed up straight afterwards. This post continues below the picture, with an explanation of what the memo says, compared to what Comey has said since.

What Comey's memo of that 28 January 2017 meeting says is significantly at variance with what he later wrote in his much-hyped autobiography (quote):

“It bothered him if there was ‘even a one percent chance’ his wife, Melania, thought [the rumour] was true. ... He just rolled on, unprompted, explaining why it couldn’t possibly be true, ending by saying he was thinking of asking me to investigate the allegation to prove it was a lie. I said it was up to him.” ^{(Emphasis supplied)}

But Comey's own notes of that meeting (pictured above) don't really support that ambiguous statement. What he actually said was a bit different. He said that it was "up to him" (meaning Trump) whether the FBI investigated the rumour. But Comey also advised the President against launching such an investigation.

His reasons? Firstly, addressing the fact that the tape was currently just a rumour, Comey remarked that it is easy to spread such lies but very hard to disprove them. That seems to be fairly sound reasoning.

Secondly, Comey said he didn't want to give the public the impression that the FBI was investigating Trump himself. But if that were the case, all Comey would have had to do was make a public statement that the President was not under investigation. The moment passed, and the conversation moved on.

Comey's excuse obviously had the desired effect on Trump's concern with his public image, because there was no investigation. In retrospect, this was perhaps an unwise decision by a president who was still in the first days of his daunting new job.

Conclusions

Draw what conclusions you like from all this. My own conclusion is that the "pee-pee tape" rumour is just that -- a silly, dirty rumour. Comey took Trump completely by surprise. But Trump wasn't thrown for one second. Later, he checked his memory with other people, and he reaffirmed to Comey that his memory was correct.

Mr Comey then tried to talk Trump out of ordering an investigation, and evidently succeeded. That's the bit where Mr Comey's conduct comes into question. My own opinion is that Mr Comey did not dismiss the "Golden Shower" rumour as thoroughly or as publicly as he could have done, inaction which allowed the phantom "scandal" to drag on and on -- and he behaved that way simply because he detests Donald Trump!

⦿ You can read the full Trump-Comey memos here.