Sometimes, I just feel tired.
Not tired as in "I worked all day and I want to sleep," nor tired as in "I just ran a marathon." No, this is the tired of a sort of bone-weariness you can't sleep off. Except it's not physical, it's mental; emotional; psychological.
Maybe it happens to all of us.
A droopy branch in the evening sun...
It usually happens to me — because I am an introvert — when I have spent too much time around people, and there's basically no end in sight.
Purple flower in the yard
I work in a form of retail; a small art gallery... where I am with the General Publick six days a week. Then we've pretty much had people staying for the past eight weeks... in fits and starts; current a dear friend's 13-year old daughter is staying with us, and will be here till the 9th.
Sometimes I ponder the possibility that maybe there is just always something going on, and my desire to "escape" from it is nothing more than pie-in-the-sky wishful thinking.
But there is more to the weariness than that.
Our friend spent a couple of days here before heading on to a long trip to California and back. She has a small soap and body products company, one of the things she does is travel to music and arts festivals to set up as a vendor. She and the daughter had just been to the Cascadia Festival.
The heart of a white iris
From listening to her describe how the event seems to be "shrinking" and another festival she went to earlier was "shrinking," I realized some of the source of my weariness: So many seem to be working ever longer hours for less... at least those who have decided to get off the treadmill of the mainstream.
She described it as "paddling against the stream and making ever so slight headway, but you always know that the MOMENT you stop paddling for even five seconds you'll lose to much ground it will take you weeks to make it back up."
It's a feeling that makes you feel weary... regardless of whether you have a small art gallery, a soap company, or a blog on Steemit that seems to never go either here nor there.
You just get TIRED, after a while. And you get TIRED from looking that the world through that lens of perception and realizing that — in this moment — you have no better option.
Lest this sounds like a litany of complaints, it's not. It's just an observation.
And on that light note, I'm going to take my tired ass to bed!
How about YOU? Ever feel just bone-weary tired of life and the world? And like you have no better alternative to turn to? Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- be part of the conversation!
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Created at 180802 00:29 PDT