Good evening my beauties!
How is everyone today? I've had a challenging one. Not in a bad way... in a developmental kind of way. See, I'm trying to get my head around a few things that I want out of life... and to let them in, I need to let some other things go. And you know what they say about change?!
Add to this the fact that I will instantly rebel against anything I feel I ought to be doing, and we have a problem on our hands... I turn into a confused donkey, digging my heels in but with no real idea exactly what I'm rebelling against nor striving for.
Case in point. Remember that fateful video where I promised sincerely that I would have a book ready by Christmas? I was so excited - but as soon as I had that up there, I kicked and squealed and fought against it - to the point where I even switched genre back and forth until my head was spinning.
I think this might be because I set this random goal in my head without considering why I want to achieve it. It becomes about the day to day doing and struggling rather than considering the big picture.
I need to consider the big picture.
Okay, so as you know, I also draw. And those drawings of pets have certainly got us out of some major financial struggles these past few years- paying for various necessities - which I'm so grateful for. But I don't want to end up as a pet portrait artist. There are people out there who I bow down to that do this- but it's not what I want to do long term. I know I can't survive on it, it does stress me out a bit and doesn't fit into any larger dreams.
On Friday, I made the big decision to take down the Facebook page that drives 99.9% of my commission work. Today I was stopped in the street and asked to book in 2 portraits. And, though it was hard, I managed to say no (nicely and gratefully!) I realised that I had to make room for the stuff that really matters, that helps me push towards my bigger dreams and goals. Time and head space to be creative has to come from somewhere.
I have linked my Etsy shop for my other art work in my blog banner here and will also be opening a shop over on the InformationFindingChanel discord over the next few weeks. I'm so excited about this, as it gives my artwork an outlet - and you guys a window into that part of my world. It's not that I want to turn the art off (that can't happen... I'd be drawing in my sleep otherwise) - I just want to be able to explore it in my own time and my own way, like I've said before.
And the writing? Well... let's just say that Dragons! Dragons! Dragons! has been growing... ever since I said I definitely wasn't going to write it... I now have over 40,000 words. So only another 50,000 ish to go (sorry 
Anyway. Now I'm just rambling. Sorry. The point is, exciting stuff is starting to happen, but to make it happen, I'm having to let go of some of the old, worn out things. They were important at the time- but I'm figuring out that it is okay to move on.
Tomorrow, I'm going to write a goals post to cover the rest of the year. I may just have to claim that I DON'T want to achieve all the things I put on there though... just to satisfy my donkey-brain ;)
Till tomorrow,
Big love, Eveningart xxx
