There are times I consider myself very young. There are times I consider myself very old. But at all times, I know that I've experienced a lot. Maybe not as much as some others, but enough to cause me to pause and reflect.
Once I was Twelve Years Old
I remember a friend called Eze. He was big, strong and had a deep voice. He was your typical bully. He had bulging muscles, a deep voice and a scar on his face. Only thing is, he was my friend.
I was a nerd, more of a social outcast. I never could fit in. I preferred my novels and anthologies. Folks like me get bullied a lot. Someone would just come around, hit my book from my hand and walk away. But that didn't always happen every time. Why? Eze.
Eze would always walk up to the bully and demand an apology on my behalf. And trust me, you don't want to mess with Eze. He was my best friend at some point. I had to share him with the many girls that flocked around him though.
Then I was Seventeen Years Old
I met this guy called Peace. He isn't the kind of person to be my friend. He had friends, was socially active and had very beautiful sisters. About the sisters, I crushed on one of them for a while. Covers face.
Anyway, he was someone who assured me that I was normal in my own way. I later discovered he was like me in many ways. Most times, his social interactions were fake, activities to simply while away time. He was like me. He enjoyed the silence of nothing, the whispers of the night, the warmth and cold in being alone.
Now I'm Twenty Four Years Old
Between twelve and now, I have learnt a lot. I've learnt how to reach out to others. Currently, I'm learning how to love. I'm still a nerd in many ways. But these days I don't have to depend on just one or two friends. My network has increased to include nerds and 'normal' people.
I live a fuller life now. I guess that's a lot to be grateful for. For friends, for warmth, for relationships. But that's not all.
Soon I'll Be Thirty Years Old
When I was very young, I imagined that I would be through with my university education by the age of 21. Using that, I estimated that I would be married by 24. Then 24 looked like a very ripe old age. Now, I don't think so.
I told my mom I'll get married by 30. These days, I wonder if I'll ever get married. I have nothing against marriage. I just think its overrated. It should come naturally and not as some milestone one has to reach.
Anyway, I'll be 30 soon. Six years, you say? Well, I've learnt enough to know time flies very fast. I still remember things that happen when I was 12 like yesterday.
So about 30. I honestly don't know. But I'm young, happy and free. I get depressed too but I guess you can't have the highs without the lows.
I don't know where I'm headed with this essay. Guess I can say the same thing about my life. I'm just living it one day at a time.
Thanks for reading
Blessings