The Pain is Real

And no, despite my face, it's not constipation.

It's blisters on my fingertips...I have done it to myself yet again...don't play my guitar for months, lose all of my calluses, and then get the aching need to learn a certain song, play it for way too fucking long, know I'm playing it for way too long cause my fingers are damn killing me, but can't stop because I need to keep playing/singing, addicted to feeling those sweet times where I get it right.

_{Omg...was that not my longest run on sentence ever?}

Some more pity photos, don't feel bad for me though, I brought this shit upon myself.

I've done it so many times, and I have the sinking feeling I'll do it again and again and again.

The guitar is not really my calling folks.

I sing all day long, random pieces of this and that, I have a radio station in my head flipping around all over the place constantly. I hum original melodies, I have original lyrics pop into my head, I love to write especially if I'm feeling down.

Actually, when I feel down I HAVE to write. To get it out and release the sadness/rage/fear.

The guitar however, I'm ashamed to say it, but I only use it. It's a means for me to be able to sing my songs without needing another person.

I abuse my guitar by neglecting it, and it abuses me right back.

Other Jazz

I question whether music is even my calling anymore, or if it ever was at all.

I used to think 'Oooh how great would it be to play my own songs, and have a band and tour'.

Now...I'm shocked to be realizing...I don't want that anymore.

I'm not visualizing that as my future anymore.

I don't think I ever really did want it, judging by how hard I haven't work at my art.

So now I'm here, and I'm wondering what the fuck my calling even is.

I think I'm seeing it though.

I'm one of those people who's decent at most things, yet a master in none.

And it's all about the effort.

I feel I have a lot of different talents I could pursue, yet none give me energy for long periods of time.

The only thing I've ever done consistently, and regularly, with unlimited energy for the task, is spreading information, and sharing freeing/liberating thoughts on social media.

But until just recently (Tsu was the first) I couldn't get paid for that. I jumped on Tsu immediately because it resonated with me. We are doing something on social media folks. Our thoughts, stories, photos, our lives, have VALUE.

Facebook, twitter, youtube and instagram aren't billion dollar corporations for nothing.

We are something.

Something VERY Valuable.

I used to feel ridiculous justifying spending my whole days sharing (non mainstream) information. It was hard to relate to others how very important I felt my job was.

It was like my other favourite job I don't get paid for (Stay at home Mother).

Well, now, thanks to the #STEEM blockchain...we know how this story ends folks:

I have the opportunity to create some financial ease in my life, through social media. Through sharing.

I share stories about my favourite (unpaid) jobs...Mother, Gardener, Nurturer, Activist and that is my job now!

Am I dependent on it as income? No. Am I grateful for every sweet cent I earn? HELL YEAH!

Do I think this is a temporary thing? OMG NO!! Are you kidding me? Every website will have it's own coin one day. We are pioneers. There will be no more facebooks and youtubes in 10 years. Probably a whole lot less. We will be getting paid all that ad revenue. They will be begging us to come to their platforms, each promising better rewards than the other.

It's time to realize your true value if you haven't already. Oh wait, you're reading this on the #STEEM blockchain, if you have an account here, you already KNOW YOUR VALUE.

How fucking sweet is this?

Am I dreaming?

No,

I'm #Steeming!