I have been thinking from today or yesterday to write a series of blog about my life where I will put all the true emotion and raw stories of my life.I was supposed to start this series later but somehow I think:
“What’s the point of delaying when I have got nothing to do at this moment?”
So it better be today not tomorrow.Thinking this I started to write.Most of you will be reading this blog for the first time.I mean the most of you among the few of the people who will read it.While writing this I am not sure how many people will read it other than me,maybe one or two or maybe not even that.Still,I have something to say that will help me to relax.
A brief Introduction about me and life
I am a young guy from Dhaka,Bangladesh.I joined steemit in the month of August last year.I don’t have a job for a year or so.I used to be a freelance web designer but last year I quit that job.It has been almost six month that I don’t do anything.I mostly stay at home and ponder what to do.
I am an aspiring writer.I hope to break my breads from writing novels and stories.I have published some of my writing in Steemit too which you will find in my blog.So this is all I have to say about me for now.Let’s get to the main chapter of this blog.
It is all in my head:Intrusive Thoughts,Obsession and Depression
From the last six months ever since I stopped working as a web designer.I was having so many problem.I have some disturbing thoughts of losing control over myself which I just can’t drive away.
Sometime I fear that I will go crazy and destroy all my certificates and valuable documents,I fear that I will intentionally burn my hands and destroy different items of households.Now this thoughts which I am describing are not like urges,like I need to do those.Those are like I fear of doing.I fear that today or tomorrow I will lose control and do those stuffs.By doing so I will lose my identity and go crazy.
I stay confused most of the time thinking what will happen if I really lose control over myself.But actually I am totally fine.I just get this wrong thoughts in my heads which are hurting my real life.Now I just want to control it.
If anybody else suffering from the same problems or suffered at some point in their life,then you may share your experience with me.That would be very helpful.
Another thing I should tell you that I have got OCD for more than twelve years as far as I remember.So it is what my life is life.I check something multiple times like if I turned off the switches or locked the door.I also have a chronic depression which I am suffering from now.
Still,whenever I get to write a blog or write some story it put me to such a relief.I love the music piano.I am listening to some piano music while writing this blog.It helps me to relax.I am totally bad at dealing with stress.I get so freaked out when some stressful situation come forward.I just panic and all those intrusive thoughts come to my head.I keep living inside a fear.
Final Words
I don’t know why I am writing all of these today.I am just feeling good doing this.It actually feels good when you can share about your problems in words or in speech with some people.I don’t know who will be reading this blog but if you do then let me know what are the problems you are dealing with in your life.I will get back to you as soon as possible.
Best wishes to you my friends.Don’t forget to comment on this blog so that I can share more about my life with you and I wish you to do the same.
