Good morning from the Philippines. Th weather looks dark and dismal maybe will rain. Just like how I am feeling and the rain will be my #teardrops. I usually make my #ulog early morning about happenings the day before or late in the afternoon about what happened that day.
I don't have any pictures to show but will just tell my story. A mother will always be a mother, no matter how old their children get. My mom is 93 with Alzheimer but yet she still thinks her children are young and looks for them. In her heart and mind her children still needs her care and love. We all do.
My daughter is already married and has a son. Being a single mom I was so happy that I have a grandson whom I might meet soon. But that is another story.
Late last night my daughter called me. She has some financial problems which just popped up. She thought they were being settled. I did not know how I could help. My heart was breaking when I was talking to her. I know she is struggling. She would not really be struggling if only her uncles (my brods) would understand her and try to help instead of putting her down and telling her that she is no good, not worthy and does not know how to manage. Instead of trying to help her up they put her down (and me too), pushing her face down and rubbing it in. They have their reasons maybe I don't understand why, they are only 4 first cousins and my daughter is the eldest, Their kids are doing ok. I guess they want my daughter to be like theirs , but every one is different, you should help the weakest not push them away, even just a little. Maybe I am wrong but as a mother it is the most painful feeling when your daughter asks you : "Mom, why do my uncles hate us so much? What did we do wrong? Maybe I should not have been born." I could feel a knife pierce my heart because I do not know what to answer. Can somebody tell me?
As a mother that is so painful when there is nothing you can do for her but try to give encouraging words and support her. After talking to her and trying to find some way (which were all negative results), I tried to g back to sleep. All I could do was pray and cry.
It was a restless night for me. All I could do was cry and let the #tears flow, praying with all my heart and soul to my Lord to please help her. Even now my tears are falling while typing this. It was midnight here when we talked and I was trying to sleep, at around 2:30 am my phone rang again. It was her and I was dreading the news. My grandson rolled off the bed. She said he did not cry or was there any loud bang, just simply rolled down to the floor on his stomach. She left him in the center of the bed with pillows on one side and his bassinet on the other. He rolled on the bassinet side which moved.
She called the pediatrician and they asked questions he did not even cry until he was picked off the floor. I saw him through video call and I wanted to cry and hug him. He looked ok and she has not messaged me. If there was something wrong she would. It is hard to be a working mom and having a working husband too just to make ends meet. She was just entering the bedroom with his bottle and she saw him roll. I guess at that age babies are moving around and active. I said a small prayer of thanks that he was ok. At least if I go there I can help watch while they both work and they would not have to worry.
So as of now my past few days were full of sadness, depression and #tears. Tomorrow Father's Day we have a whole day power interruption from 8am-5pm. Now what kind of a Father's Day will it be?
So I will be doing all I can to raise funds for my grandson so that they can still come home but not worry about the expenses for his Baptism and 1st Birthday. I will also give one post's earnings every week after the #upfundme for that purpose too no matter how small it all adds up.
Having poured out my heart here I feel a little better. I will try to relax, maybe watch a series or movie. Charge my phones and tablets and my power banks and my pocket WiFi in preparation for tomorrow. Just to keep busy and occupied.
Thank you for reading and hope you understand. Love this #ulog.
Thank you too for those who have helped one way or another for my goals. I appreciate it very much.
A mother will always be a mother trying to protect their children if they can no matter how old or young.
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