I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to mostly abdicate responsibility within myself in the forming of new relationships - where there's a lack of consideration for my already existing connections, time, and responsibilities.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for manipulating and controlling myself in relationships in a way where it's like I've been seducing myself into things and getting intense quite quickly by placing such a strong emphasis on the emotional connection while not realizing nor much regarding the other points/dimensions of myself...my life...people in my life....the other person, their life...who I really am beyond just an emotional connection.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which I've been following my emotions and feelings.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which I've made compromises in myself and in my life as consequence of not taking the time to think and be practical in my decision making abilities, but rather 'rushed' in following/chasing/moving as the fleeting energy of the emotion/feeling in the moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been quite stubborn to see how closed off I've been to my emotions and feelings. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the tendency I've had to connect others in my world to my feelings/emotions for better or worse.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being irresponsible in best tending to myself and the relationships in my life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for mostly disregarding the substantial depth that is possible within relationships. I realize relationships blossoming quite naturally over time is a result of shared enjoyment and willingness to put in the time to share the best. I realize the best is an all encompassing point and that the best will have a whole consortium of moments as things to work and play with and there will be easy and difficult times/moments.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being both really quick to jump into relationships and really slow to stop relationships.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I've perpetuated the fall-into and fall-out of relationships - where it's been mostly from the starting point of an emotional connection and within that focusing and even becoming obsessed about this emotional connection...pushing and riding it into all time highs...like a honey moon phase of the relationship that's not really sustainable or practical...and is based on this build-up of just kind of hyping things up....like this sort of self-prostitution in a way where it's like being your own energy-whore...where you don't realize necessarily how we create the build up....create the high.
I realize a relationship doesn't have to be limited just because there's a strong emotional connection that forms - but it's a warning sign of sorts because our emotions and feelings can influence and change our state of mind and thinking...and thus, our actions - I realize there's a practicality element involved in forming any and all relationships in my life - I realize it's a point of regard for myself and my already existing relationships - I realize there's practical structural points of consideration in forming new relationships: Connection, Time and Responsibility.
I realize it's really important to make practical assessments in the formation of new relationships and even existing ones as to; How/What is the Connection? How/What is the Time available here? What about my already existing responsibilities?
I realize that our relationships we have in this lifetime say a lot about ourselves because our relationships in a lot of ways exemplify who we are and the meaning we create in our lives. I realize this is a point that has been much neglected and taken for granted, and that our relationships are precious and that this regard for ourselves and relationships is far and near reaching as relationships stem from the very small and distant to the very near and dear.
I realize that having a real regard for myself and so to my relationships is paramount to living my best life as life is so much so the epitome of shared enjoyment - enjoyment in and of itself being a shared togetherness.
I realize we cannot not be in relationship with ourselves and so to each other. To say it another way: I realize we are always in a relationship with ourselves first and foremost and the relationship with ourselves determines the quality of our relationships with others.
When and as I see myself jumping into things quite quickly - I stop and breathe - I take a look at myself and the way I've been acting/reacting and ground any energy in me that is creating like a "flighty" and "floaty" experience within myself. I realize it's when I am within a "flighty and floaty" experience that I am inclined to rush my decision making and compromise my best decisions/actions. I realize this is a consequence of creating a sort of emotional/feeling dependency within myself where it's like I am feeding off the experiences I am creating within myself and making believe it to be a sort of external magic when the reality is that I've been entirely hypnotized by my own choices. I realize there's great responsibility in the decisions we make from the very small to the very big and by having well developed principles - one is able to navigate through life based on living principles - I realize my starting point in relationships will shape the very definition of the relationships.
This posting is a stepping stone of support, outflow and follow through from the EQAFE Recording in the Reptilian Series, "Mutual Consequence"
To be continued
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What Is Most Important In and As Life?
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