I have never felt so full of doubts, insecurities, unanswered questions and the need to "repress" feelings or things that should not be happening to me, or at least I think so...
Image edited for me in Canvas
Hello friends, How are you?
I feel this way today... I thought that my life was going to be how they painted me as a child, since they told me that it had to be like that and I never questioned myself, until I began to realize how empty I am today.
I realized that I stopped doing things that made me happy because they broke my head telling me that my future is more important. And yes, I ate that verse and chose something that I like or "supposedly like" that is becoming so difficult to maintain and I don't know if it is lack of motivation, if it is a bit of frustration or a combination of both what makes me want to leave everything.
But no, I can't resign, I can't because I have a pressure on my heels to know that I have to finish something, I can't disappoint again. But, defraud whom? my family that I don't fit because for them I am the "weird", the one that has completely different tastes and thoughts or disappoint myself?
I lived years of my life feeling demanded by my surroundings, from what I had to do, how to act under certain circumstances and the truth is that I always broke my balls, because every one of those things marked me to what I am today. I shut myself up so much in myself that I no longer know how to face the world and I'm scared to face what I really feel.
I don't judge, I don't judge, right now I feel crossed by thousands of thoughts that torment my head and I need to free at once.
I just want to be at peace, I just want that if they do not accept it, that they at least understand that I want to have my times and no longer live depending on what others tell me, that I am discovering myself, what I feel what I think and trying to accept those feelings that have been confusing me for a long time.
Is it about encouraging oneself to face and accept once and for all to be really happy? I read them...
Finish well this Wednesday 😁!
