2017 is the saddest year of my life, though I had my ups and downs in my life, 2017 was my hardest blow. I am the only child left in our family my autistic brother died 13 years ago and my Dad left us 2014 because of stroke. Since then I love my mom even more since we're the only two left. She is living with us even though I have my own family cause I want to take care of her for the rest of her life (of course who wouldn't do that to their Mom). She had hypertension and heart problem but she knows how to take care of herself, she was always on a strict diet and took herbal/alternative medicines and sometimes her maintenance meds. I let her do that as long as I can see her lively and healthy. And I knew her faith in our Lord gave her enormous strength.
The early part of 2017 my Mom had a major stroke, it was so painful to see her in ICU, she can't speak or even open her eyes and only her right hand is moving. I was lucky that I was a Medical Representative before and knew the top doctors of Philippine Heart Center whom I requested when we brought her to ER and she was immediately assisted by Fellows and Nurses who quickly fitted ventilator for her to breathe. Dr. Go and Dr. Yumul said we were lucky because she was still responsive( with hand movements) despite the fact that a major vein on her brain(pons) had a blood clot based on her MRI and they said it was the same type of stroke that killed FPJ.
It was physically, emotionally and financially draining to be in that situation. I asked assistance from our relatives for the hospital bill support and went to government officials for help. My Mom improved since she can breathe without ventilator after 2 weeks in ICU and was transferred to a room. What I did then was I mortgaged our house so we can bring her home (her bill then reached more than 300k), if she stayed longer in the hospital her doctors knew of the burden that we are experiencing because of the hospital bills. Unfortunately, she had another stroke after 4 days that we brought her home and when we brought her back to PHC this time she had internal hemorrhage and other complications that caused her death. It was the most traumatic pain I had experienced in my life, seeing doctors and nurses tried to revive her several times but nothing has been done.
This crushed me, caused me to sink deep. Her loss caused me depression, I felt that I was to blame for her loss. I never asked for professional help, it's not usual for Filipinos to ask help from Psychiatrist I secluded my self from the world but the encouragement of my husband 
Then my previous Boss 
This 2018 I will try to overcome whatever problems I had and will have by trusting our Lord more, by having unwavering faith that everything will be alright in His mighty name. Stay positive cause I have a huge family here on Steemit whom I know I will gain emotional guidance and support. I am very thankful that I joined this platform, this is an avenue of great minds and good-hearted people.
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