Like a young girl in general, I have many friends with all the excitement there is. A smile never disappeared to decorate a face that is not how much compared to my close friends. As peer age begins to beautify my appearance, I have no interest in such a thing. Thin powder with a fairly low fashion sense makes me a little hesitant about going through the maturity stage. The main point of a woman lies in appearance. Then what about me? Ah, I do not know.
Biological changes both physically and mentally begin to feel. Now I'm entering a phase where emotions have a tremendous test. Stages that must be passed before bearing adult predicate is adolescent. Where the soul of rebels and the great curiosity began to feel. This is actually the most dangerous zone in the life graph. Because in that period the beginning of the formation of one's identity. Once a misstep, it will lapse into a blaring black hole. Thought that is not yet mature enough, will be the prologue of the story in the mirage of the mirage of the world.
Freedom to do anything seems to be the strongest foundation in the self. Until I felt there was something I had never known before. The unhappy happiness but a little annoyed with the nervous feeling makes me feel awkward every time I see the figure of "Him". I admired him. Emm, no. The definition is less precise in my opinion. Not just amazed even more than that. Oh, is it possible love? How can I feel love? I do not feel that way. Reflect from looks and everything I have. I have absolutely no merit in me. Only women dressed shabbily with a percentage of zero expertise, had dared to like a handsome man like a prince. Hemm... miss the moon. Huft.
For a long time I kept a taste but my lips could not say. The time that made all my dreams come true. On this day, my official became his lover. A little bit of disbelief but this is true. Beautiful word series with sweet treatments invite laughter. It is beautiful and really beautiful. The sense of comfort is clearly felt. Many spend time together as if no bored for us. The heart pounded as he kissed right on my forehead. Immediately I was stunned. As if my tongue is out and not knowing what to do. The first kiss I got with her. Feelings of fear could haunt. However, again spoiled flirtation successfully fade the discomfort.
Love and kiss it. Does love have to be interspersed with such acts? I do not think so. I never felt any peace again. Probably out of boredom or whatever. I'm sure the kiss is not the love but the effect of curiosity and lust. I just love with him. A little trauma of all actions in a relationship romance. Never again will I have romance before I feel ready for it. My determination and passion for the future are more beautiful than having to waste time with a temporary relationship of love.
In my age that always increases with the solitude of making my little feel empty in the soul. Especially seeing the closest friend busy with a beloved man, the more as I myself no one who accompanies.
Until one day the steady determination of maturity makes me again dare to open the heart to a man. Ideal stature with a convincing appearance with a very calm nature. Rudy, is the man who managed to find the key to the heart and deserve to enter my life. With open arms I accepted his figure without any disturbing hesitation.
A sense of security and comfort made me reluctant to stay away from her. Suddenly the memories of the past will be back in love again. Kiss.... Yes, I get another kiss from different people. Feeling uncomfortable at first, but again the romance seduction pervades the soul. Either a spell of what he whispered to me until I felt comfortable again regardless of the deepest conscience. I did not suspect deeper into the black zone. I was aware and really in a state of conscious but apadaya I began to enjoy so no intention to end.
The relationship I should not have done, I have now felt. Not just feel but also enjoy even I feel getting addicted. Opium romance with illicit relationship treatment. When my brain seemed to not work and my heart seemed to die. The only thing I think about is bad until I feel stupid. Yes, really stupid. When the desire to once again enjoy but no one willing to serve, immediately it also seems like my blood boils and I feel crazy will the world that looks dark.
Sony, the guy who always reminds me of all the bad things I do not even notice. With coercion and a little rough treatment, I managed to force Sony to have sex with me. A look of fear I saw clearly from the radiance of his eyes. But I do not care about that. All I want is an outlet for what I feel. Pleasure I did not get. Rudy, I miss him so much. I do not know where he is. Maybe busy with his new activities or even busy with other women who have chosen.
Lately I feel a significant change in Rudy. Starting from the intensity of communication that decreased until treatment changes are not like before. In solitude, the void I really feel in my heart. The culmination of the change of all Rudy's attitudes took place right today. Through a short message, he calls me a bitch. Still I can hold my temper and try to guess maybe he was not feeling well. But the longer, the more words I can not accept and the indifference to me. He should not have done this to me after take my future.
Enough! Just get here I know you. You no longer want to get caught in your lust trap. You call me a bitch, then what about you? Do not you want to look in the mirror? A series of questions filled my mind. If only I could say that to you. Tears that I did not want, now wet my face. My heart is no longer scratched. My heart is now crushed by you. Is this what you want? Chills me without accountability. You denied all your beautiful words to me. Either I'm too stupid or you're too clever to write your own romance scenario with me.
I have no idea why God brought me to you. Most of my body has been touched by you. Which man wanted me after knowing that there was no sacred part in me. Let alone other people, I myself was disgusted with my body. The reflection of myself in the mirror seemed to laugh at me. Cruel. How cruel you are to me. You never thought of me as your lover. I who you often call bitch, just a woman who will serve your lust. You only think of me as a servant when you want a forbidden relationship.
Stupid! I'm so stupid of ignoring everything for you. The sheets of life that should be filled with beautiful stories have now scratched red ink. Worn. It has been obsolete my life records by you. Heart intentions want to crack the lake of fire but it is useless. Eternal stains are now submerged at the bottom of conscience. Reluctant for me to hope for the upcoming story. One thing I can be sure of. I will remember you now and after death.