As I went to other people’s entries for this competition, I felt very hesitant because their stories and their emotional weights are way too deep for me to make something on my own. I don’t have those very chaotic and somehow tragic stories to even start with, but I still found myself writing something for my mother because she’s superb for me like any other mothers out there. This is not me saying that my mother is better than any other mother, but this is me, writing and shouting to the world of how lucky I am to have a woman like her on my side.
My mother, FILIPINAS TATE ACTUB, is a born Filipino with a slight blood of a black-american (which somehow explains the body and skin type I think hehehe). I don’t know the background story behind her name, but I assumed that when she was born, I bet my grandparents saw the Philippine Map and named her after that hahahaha. But anyway, my mother is 48 years young, the second youngest daughter of 7 children, and the bread and butter of our family of 4. She wasn’t able to start any college degree due to financial issues, but right after she got her high school diploma, she has had worked her entire life supporting, not only herself, but her siblings as well. She stopped schooling and decided to start working in order for her other siblings to finish college.
Pre-Mother Period
I can’t really remember the year, but my father, Antonio D. Actub Jr., and my mother met in their childhood because they were neighbors back then. But it was in their mid 20s when they somehow found each other interesting, and so they decided to be love birds. Years after sharing moments and not being supported by my Mother’s family at the same time, my parents decided to fight the odds and ran away from home. My mother was a market vendor, and my father was an electrician of the city government. Having no home to stay, my parents transfer from one house to another through renting. But with the help of their colleagues, they managed to stay in one small house and built a stable life in there. After some time of living-in together, their loveness resulted into a fruitful handsome baby boy and was followed by a more handsome baby boy (obviously I’m talking about myself of course hahahaha) after 4 years.
The Wife
After giving birth to me, my family moved into my grandparents (My father’s parents) house because they were more welcoming than the other family. We were raised and nurtured in a home where up until now is where we are currently residing. Our family, like any other families, started just way too smooth and easy. Stable financial flow and minimal family problems were encountered until my father decided to quit his job due to drug addiction. Without my mother knowing, my father was long using drugs and has been tardy and absentee on his regular job which resulted to his job termination and it all went downhill from there. My mother decided to sell her stall in the market to start a better business, we tap on the electric current from my grandparents’ source, and the house started to feel gradually chaotic. But my Mother, as the superwoman she is, started different small ventures that can sufficiently supply us with our daily need for survival. She has tried grilling pork, meats, chickens and a variety of those, selling classic Filipino street foods, and even shouting and visiting houses to sell her goods. All that and more, she did just to support us independently.
When I was in high school, the one thing I remembered about my super mom is when my father was arrested for drug use and was sentenced to jail. The sadness on here whole being was so obvious that even her business was so affected. But she didn’t let that stop her in providing us our essentials as a mother and giving her support as wife. She persistently begged for people to help my father’s case and sentence to grow lightly until his imprisonment was turned down into a 6-month rehabilitation in a 4-hour drive city from ours. But her efforts didn’t end there, despite the distance and expenses required, she consistently visited my father every weekend to ensure his safety and change of heart for good. On the other hand, my mother’s parents were so furious after hearing what happened to my father and they disowned my mother for she continuously visiting him after what have had happened. But still, love and marriage prevailed.
The Mother
Having been so devoted on our family, amidst all the difficulties and tragedies that have happened, my mother remained very hard-working and calm. She was able to raise us in the best way she could. She stood tall and succeeded in sending us to school (with the help of our relatives). No wonder how my brother got his own degree and license as a Nurse and me finishing my degree in Electronics Engineering. All these, made possible by our mother.
If you think she’s got too many things on her plate and have no time anymore, then you’re certainly wrong. Being so artistically inclined together with my brother, my mother never failed to not only support and encourage us verbally, but she also attends every significant performance that we’ve had. May it be us dancing or teaching, my mother will always be on the center area shouting and cheering us out. And she even made it to my first out-of-town performance last year (which, I should say, was very touching).
The Son’s Wish
With all that being said, no amount of thank you is enough to repay her. But the best wish and prayer I have for my mother is good health and long life. I wish she gets to see me wear that toga, to watch me grace that stage as I receive my diploma, and witness my wink as I transfer that tussle. This may not be enough to pay her back for all the walls she has smashed, but this is best gift I could give her for now. She may not have a good wealth to leave us, but she has built her legacy tough and strong – us, her FAMILY.
I hope you’ve had a great time reading my mother’s story because I surely did enjoy everything when I was making this. A big thank you and so much love for this wonderful creature, my Mother, FILIPINAS TATE ACTUB.
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