In light of recent events, I have decided to give my thoughts on breakups and how to get over them. Take note that this post may only be applicable to the dumpee after a painful, bad breakup (not those sad, sincere ones).
It’s not easy. Trust me, I know. A breakup can be brutal, but it can also be pointless (shout out to those in an on-and-off relationship). It’s like a thing that slowly kills you but you won’t end up dead (which doesn’t sound like a relief on the dumpee’s case). There are only two mindsets of people in a relationship – the serious ones and the not serious ones (you don’t have to be too complicated on the classification).
The serious ones are the people who tend to mess up after a breakup. They tend to get drunk or do stupid regrettable things just to GET BACK THE LOVE OF THEIR LIFE. I was supposed to say “to forget” but, clearly, the serious, stupid ones don’t aim that way (hides ropes and knives). The serious, smart ones try to make themselves preoccupied and do things, even unnecessary, to keep their head a good distance away from their heart (or BE NUMB, smart move though).
While the not serious, carefree people don’t give a fuck. In a matter of days or even just hours, they have replaced you. Or maybe they already have before the official breakup.
Anyway, after all that nonsense, informational rambling about people after breakups, here are some ways to help you, dumpee, recover (if not, it’s worth the try):
One. THE PURGE
You must throw everything, burn everything, BURY EVERYTHING. And by everything, I just don’t mean physical things. Please include your emotions – be it good memories and/or hatred. Do not hold back (even from crying while you’re doing these things). Imagine yourself that you’re in a movie (not to make it dramatic) but because, in movies, the ones who endure heartbreaks are the ones who usually get the happy endings (there’s your incentive). Don’t expect too much though.
Two. THE EVASION
Now, this is the most important thing if you want to move on with your life. Avoid anything and/or anyone that has something to do with the one you used to love AT ALL COST. And this includes even UNFRIENDING AND BLOCKING him/her on social medias — Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. I mean, why would you torture yourself by looking at his/her profile? Unless you want something to cry about, you must try to prove to your friends that you’re actually moving on and not just moping around (or worse, stalking).
Three. THE OSCARS
I didn’t have to make uncle Oscar as a reference but I think it was essential. If you live in a very small town (the lyrics to “IT’S A SMALL WORLD (AFTER ALL)” being sung by your dear friends), this is very helpful since, God only knows when, you two might accidentally bump into each other. When we were little kids, we used to act around and play the roles we wrote for ourselves (maybe, it was just me but that’s not the point). If that’s the case anyway, then acting or pretending just comes out naturally. You need to pretend that you have moved on already (even if you have not). You have to act like you don’t care in the slightest (even if you actually do). Just put on your bitch face and be numb like everything in your life is going well (even if you’re crumbling down inside). Remember, nobody has to know. Nobody needs to know that you’re still hurting. I know it’s harsh but I think the other party will just see it as an advantage if he/she thinks that he/she still owns you.
Four. THE BIBO KID
No stereotyping intended but I think the word “Bibo” itself is self-explanatory. You need to be interested in something. Not just one or two activities but depending on how many tasks you’re willing to do or finish — to keep yourself busy. You either join a club in school that you haven’t heard before or volunteer in community service. Who knows? Maybe you’ll meet the next love of your life there (there’s no telling).
Five. THE WRITER
Convert him or her into literature. Transform all your rage and mixed emotions through words. There’s no limit. You can write whatever comes to your mind – you can actually arrange the events so you could have a potential story. Remember, a novel is at least 40,000 words and a brilliant plot. You might think that it’s hard but when you’re at it, words just keep on flowing when you least expect. Write like you’re talking to him or her. Write like you’re saying goodbye to the one who used to love and care for you. Release him (or her).
There are also other ways to get over someone (or being drunk is the easier way), but I can never cite them all to you since we all have different perspectives on how we see relationships and different depths of love we’ve had. You don’t need to commit to something completely not beneficial on your side. You don’t have to live that way. Ask yourself – If he (she) loved you, why did he (she) leave?
Love should be just love. It should not be hurting anyone. Be wise.