This is the Captain speaking..
Previous staff of requisition fired, 3 lil old ladies drinking gin and playing rummy, or drinking rummy and playing gin is not acceptable.
Navigation Officer Stitchybitch has been promoted to Staff Officer of supply closet.
Codename - Closetbitch
Assignment - eliminate all traces of gin and rum (and previous occupants) from supply closet via any means required, full authorization is given to you regarding "The Purge".
Disposal via consumption not recommended and will be noted on your personal, private and official record.
Proper policies and procedures should be followed when supplying the crew with inventory, this includes the blankets we requested from the previous staff.
Failure to comply will be met with Termination.
Extreme prejudice protocols will be enacted. Airlocks are greased up and ready to go.
Have a lovely day and I hope to see you on Sunday for Brunch!!
Much love.
Communication Ended.
I received this transmission from the Captain, 
I could have easily emptied the supply cabinet of my own accord but his added stipulation has proved to be a challenge.
Since I could not consume the spirits, I was forced to spike every available liquid resource... and solid.
The crew's breakfast consisted of whiskey coffee and vodka laced omelettes.
On the upside, morale is up 300%.
But errors, misconduct, and indecent exposure are on an exponential rise and it isn't even lunch mess yet.
The crew is slowly transforming into drunken pirates. It is simultaneously horrifying and captivating.
On the blanket front: I have consumed three whiskey coffees myself and am speed knitting as quickly as I can. There has only been one blanket for weeks and there have been late night brawls over possession.
1,348 stitches in.
My vision is blurring.
And a cadet vomited on the yarn ball.
I don't have time to stop or change yarns.
Today I knit with Vomyarn.
I hear the Captain's footsteps approaching.
Wait, was that a whisper in the dark and a plasma coil energizing..
Oh, god!
over and out.
