There are times when you look out for someone else and it comes back to bite you.
It can make you feel both regretful and resentful.
But the only thing in your control was to do the right thing or not. You did.
What wasn't in your control is if they would do the right thing or not. They didn't.
Now you know. Don't extend yourself for them again because you now know that doing so will cause you undue pain.
Some people think that taking advantage of trust or kindness is winning. It's not. It means they lose the trust and kindness offered so freely to them. That's most definitely losing.
Value your trust and kindness for the treasures that they are.
When someone shows you that they don't value those gifts, they are showing you their belief that they don't deserve them. Giving to them again and again will not make them appreciate them, but will only repeatedly damage your trust and kindness. If trust and kindness are damaged too much, they break. Not just for that person, but for everyone. Don't let that happen.
Choosing not to give again to a person who has already demonstrated they will bite you in return isn't selfish, it's self preservation. And self preservation is an act of love, and it's not just for you. It's for everyone. It allows you to remain kind and trusting to everyone else and allows you to continue to be the best person you can be.
They may make promises or ask you to trust them again and again or apologize profusely, but think about what you'd be encouraging them to do depending on your choice. If you trust them again and they take advantage of that again, you've only encouraged them to become a better apologizer and pleader to get their way… not to become a better person.
If you tell them that no, they've lost that gift, you've given them a lesson that if they want to keep good people in their lives, they need to treat them well and not take advantage of them. That's a far greater gift than allowing them to use you again.
By Doe Zantamata
