I was five or six years old when I first heard the word “vegetarian”. The concept intrigued me, though I found it slightly confusing too. I can’t remember who told me precisely what “vegetarian” meant, or how exactly they informed me that it is necessary for animals to die in order for humans to eat meat. I do know that I was in my great-grandmother's kitchen with a few different adult relatives, and one way or another, a conversation about vegetarianism was happening.
I can remember musing aloud that it would be nice to save animals. I had always loved cats and dogs, and had even adopted a hedgehog who lived in the garden as “my pet” for a while (this involved cooing over the hedgehog's cuteness any time I spotted the sweet prickly creature out and about). My mother and great-grandmother told me that it would be better to wait until I was an adult before becoming a vegetarian, as they didn’t think children could grow big and tall without eating meat.
I mulled this over for a few moments. In my own naive little head, I believed that I would be a serious adult at the age of eighteen, all set to embark on a big, important career and claim a mortgage (that amuses me greatly now), but I wanted to become a vegetarian sooner than that. Sixteen struck me as an age when I would have finished growing big and tall, and would be sufficiently close to adulthood to become a vegetarian without anyone scolding me about it.
“Okay, I’ll be a vegetarian when I’m sixteen then.”
As the years intervened, I forgot all about what I had said on that day, to be perfectly honest, but something in me did not forget.
One morning at the end of April 2007, I woke up, walked downstairs, entered the kitchen and found myself announcing to my startled mother: “Mam, I’m not going to eat meat anymore. I think I want to be a vegetarian from now on.”
Before those words escaped my mouth, I hadn’t consciously intended to say them – the announcement was a total surprise even to me – but as soon as they were out, they felt right. Some time later, I remembered what I had said as a child: that I would turn vegetarian when I was sixteen years old. The things that our subconscious minds can remember are amazing.
I went vegetarian entirely on a whim, so this decision might have been expected not to last. My dad predicted I would be eating meat again by Christmas (a prediction he continued to make for several years). But somehow, this strange, whimsical notion of mine was one that stuck. From that day onwards, I never again ate any meat that came from land animals, though I often alternated between eating fish and then not eating them.
For some reason, I didn’t see fish as “meat” in the same way that beef, pork or chicken was.
Every now and then I would read something about the devastating impacts that commercial fishing methods were having on our oceans – which would prompt me to stop eating fish – only to be guilt-tripped into eating it again after hearing that I would be irreparably damaging myself if I chose not to. Countless marketing campaigns told me that omega oils from fish were the best by far and no other source could come close. I now know that there are plenty of other good sources of omega oils – linseed and flax are just two examples – while questions have also been raised recently about the levels of mercury and other ocean pollutants in fish oil. In the late Noughties, however, fish oil was where it was at.
Throughout those years when I was a vegetarian/sometime pescetarian, I could never explain exactly why I would not eat meat. Whenever anyone asked me that question, all I could offer them was a feeble, “I just don’t want to.” From the moment I made that strange, on-the-spot decision to stop eating meat at the age of sixteen, I was driven forward by an impetus that I didn’t really understand.
My decision to become a vegan was very different.
I was scrolling through Facebook one evening in late January 2013 when my eyes were drawn to an advertisement for a video called What Came Before, which had been produced for a U.S. farmed animal sanctuary called Farm Sanctuary (the creativity that went into that name is something to behold) and narrated by Steve-O. I knew of Steve-O and I had heard of Jackass, but had never watched it. I have still never watched it, in all honesty, but that's beside the point. 😛
What Came Before took an excruciatingly detailed look at the deprivation, violence and unrelenting misery that animals trapped within the factory farming system must endure. It left me in tears. I turned to Google as soon as I had finished it, wanting to know more about veganism.
When I learned that cows had to be kept pregnant in order to produce milk, I was shocked (much to my embarrassment). I kept asking myself, how could I not have known something so basic and obvious? I had known for many years that mammals – including humans – do not produce milk unless they are nursing offspring. Why had I somehow believed that this wouldn’t be the case for cows? The simple answer is that I had never taken a moment to consider the reality of dairy cows’ day-to-day lives. As a lifelong urban dweller, I had also never been exposed to the reality of how dairy farms operated. Instead, I had held onto a pleasant, but patently false idea that had been with me since childhood: namely, that cows magically produced milk all by themselves and lived blissful, carefree lives out on the pasture until they died of natural causes.
If only that lovely fairytale of mine were true.
Little by little, I educated myself on all of the various issues involved. I slowly began to cut animal products out of my life, hoping to do so in a way that wouldn’t be noticed at first. I knew that I wanted to remain vegan for the rest of my life – I knew that just as surely as I had known that I wanted to be a vegetarian as a child – but I wasn’t ready to speak openly about that decision for a long time. Several people around me expressed concern, confusion and even outright annoyance over my newfound interest in veganism, so I didn't want to add to their annoyance more than was strictly necessary.
I had been in a pescetarian phase at the time of watching What Came Before, so the first step I took from that day onwards was to stop eating fish. Eliminating dairy produce from my diet was a significantly more awkward process that took several months. I didn’t achieve it until the 1st of June 2013, when I boarded a plane to New York, planning to spend a few months there, and somehow I knew – I just knew – that when I came home, I would be a confident, wholehearted vegan.
Breaking away from home and going abroad for a while turned out to be just what I needed to solidify my intentions. The dairy industry is deeply embedded within Irish culture, and I somehow knew that it would be much easier to adopt a fully plant-based diet away from the pressures of home, the awkwardness of having to constantly justify what I was doing, and my niggling fear that I was being impossibly rude and difficult every time I turned down a piece of cheese.
When I returned from New York, there was no more wavering, no more doubts. I was ready to be clear in my intentions, and I knew that I would never again make myself eat something that contained milk or cheese in order to avoid appearing rude.
Since then, I have been an activist with a range of different groups. I'm an introverted activist who would die a thousand deaths at the thought of appearing to be "pushy", but I am an activist nonetheless. 😉 My activism has basically involved standing at an information table alongside a few other people, ready to hand out leaflets or engage in brief conversations with anyone who voluntarily approaches us or wants to ask questions.
Before closing this post, I want to briefly highlight some of the challenges that can arise when doing on-street activism, so that if anyone who is interested in getting involved with this type of work comes across this post, they will know what to expect.
No. 1: Mistakes will be made. I sometimes received questions about nutrition or agricultural practices that I couldn’t answer. I soon learned that the best thing to do when that happened was to simply admit that I didn’t know a lot about the particular subject that the person had raised. I used to turn to other, more experienced activists who knew more about the subject in question. These encounters always proved to be invaluable learning experiences for me, as well as the person asking the question!
No. 2: Be aware that differences in opinion will arise between different activists. Everyone involved is human, after all!
No. 3: It is okay not to be close personal friends with every fellow activist you encounter. See point above regarding differences in opinion! I was fortunate enough to find a tight-knit group of friends through my work with the information table. These are the people who always have my back, no matter what, and I could not be more grateful for them.
No. 4: Know your own values and know that you have the right to remain strong in the face of those who would try to break them down. I experienced a few incidents of misogyny while volunteering at the table, and I was also made deeply uncomfortable by a few people who approached me professing an interest in veganism, while also making casual racist statements and expecting me to agree. I will not entertain anyone who expresses support for animal rights while simultaneously espousing homophobic, sexist, anti-choice or racist views. My decision to embrace veganism was an extension of my core belief in the dignity, autonomy and inherent value of all other individuals on this planet, whether they are of my own species or not. I have sometimes been disappointed to witness a few vegan activists appearing to pander to the toxic beliefs that some people approaching the table have held, so long as they have expressed some sign – however faint or implausible – of being willing to consider veganism.
No. 5: It is absolutely, 100% okay to stay at home sometimes, rather than engaging in the sometimes draining interactions that street activism can involve. Putting your own mental health first is a necessity, not a luxury. How you can effectively assist the animals if you yourself are running on empty?