Every so often I dwell on things, its a blessing and a curse, over the past few years especially I have realised that the person Im becoming it the one I was working toward as a child before the conditioning of society friends and family kicked in, of course I cant really shift blame here obstacles are part of life and if I have learnt one thing is that obstacles will arise in pretty much everything you do in life.
As a child I remember walking throw a hunting trophy room of a relative, I remember going to see the chickens at a local farm, I remember thinking as an animal lover, I`m kind of living a double standard. After attempting vegetarianism a few times as a child but giving up mainly due to the social disapproval etc.
I guess as a teenager I became numb always thought, il change later I don`t eat many animal products, as long as I try limit it and try get the most humane animal products as I can until such a time I can give it up that's the main thing. I always feared that slaughter and animal products were very brutal over time I guess I took the position of its not nice but can be relatively smooth.
I used allot of excuses when I started to work for myself I noticed vegan vegetarian products were cheaper, an obstacle I had at the time was a friend borrowing drinking money off me every week, as a result of that it kind of meant I would scrap and save money elsewhere. I guess one thing was buying chicken nuggets instead of quorn. I may have largely been meat free at this point but weaknesses such as not standing up to people like that sadly cost some animals their lifes. I have often thought back to the point of when they were about to die, I guess if they could ask me one thing it would be please, no one else is sticking up for me your my last hope stand up for yourself and me.
Sadly back then I didn't stand up for them, on a spiritual level I know energy cant be destroyed only transferred, I hope those animals are in a better world now I`m sure they are but that doesn't dissolve my guilt.Please consider not eating animals or consuming animal products if you currently do.
The only thing one can do now is dedicate one life to positive change, not just with animal right but everything in life,kindness to the planet, kindness to other beings, offerings of support, random acts of kindness self improvement and spiritual growth,evryone has something to offer
peace