Verbal abuse
Answer the following questions to find out if you live in an abusive relationship verbally
- Are you angry or irritated several times a week even if you have not done anything to upset him?
Yes, I do not know what's wrong
No, he is generally happy and happy
- When you ask why he is angry does he make you feel that it was your fault?
Yes, many times
No, if that happens I'm telling you, and we try not to make anyone feel bad.
- Has it happened to you that you feel bad about something, and you want to talk to him but you feel he does not listen to you or want to talk to you?
Yes, it's as if what I say is not important.
No, always take my words into account.
- Have you ever told you that you are always the one who starts the arguments and does not want to solve the problems they have?
Yes, I insist on resolving our fight, but he always says that I just want to argue.
No, I feel we both insist on resolving our fights.
- Have you been perplexed and frustrated by the answers you have given, because you always misinterpret your real intentions?
Yes, I can not tell you anything without getting me wrong, I do not know what to talk about anymore.
No, if you do not understand something, ask me.
- After fighting with him, you ask yourself: Is there something wrong with me? I should not feel so bad
Yes, I have asked myself again and again. I feel that I am the one with the problem.
No, we always fix things after a fight and it does not make me feel guilty.
- He never wants to share his plans or thoughts with you, but you've seen him do it with other people.
Yes, I feel that his friends know him better than me.
No, there are many things he shares with me.
- He always gives you the contrary in everything you say, as if he was right and you are bad at everything.
Yes, if I say white he is going to say black
No, sometimes we do not agree but there are several that do.
- Sometimes you wonder if he sees you as a stranger or his enemy
Yes, always fight with me or hide things.
No, I'm your friend and confidant.
- He is angry or has no idea that you want to talk to him
Yes, I feel like he never listens to me.
No, understand and make the effort to understand what I'm trying to tell you
- Have you ever insulted you in a fight?
Yes, it has been very painful.
No, I never would.
Yes after taking this test, you got less than 10 points, you may be living verbal abuse, if less than 10 you are living in an abusive relationship.
Some symptoms of having been verbally abused are:
1.Feeling disconnected, confused, and disoriented.
2.Feel that you are to blame for everything.
3.After a discussion, feel that what was previously clear, now is nothing.
4.Feeling ignored
5.Embarrassed and insecure, of your feelings.
6.Feelings of loneliness
7.A strong feeling of wanting to leave, but not being able to move.
Still not sure?
Try to tell them about your feelings, and it will invalidate them, or mock them with sarcasm or jokes.
If you need more help do not hesitate to consult with your closest friends, about how they have seen you change since you are with him, or just think about one day and write all the times they have fought, how many have solved the problem , and in accounts they simply never did. How many times have you called her with ugly names, like a bitch, a prostitute, or a fool? The times he has made you feel bad, because he ignores you and does not want to share anything with you.
An app that you can use on your phone is called Daylio , there you can keep a diary of your emotions, and how things go with the man (who before) we thought perfect.
All these questions were taken from the book: Verbal Abuse by Patricia Evans. You can buy the book in Amazon.