Break out of your old behaviors and improve your life condition. Improve your habits, and take the actions necessary to change your life.
Mark works hard everyday. He provides for his wife and children. They're a happy family. Except that Mark's health is not good. You see, Mark regularly drinks alcohol after work. He knows he would be healthier if he stopped, but he cannot resist the pleasure and relief that it brings.
Sam has a good job and makes a reasonable amount of money. For some reason, Sam can't get ahead in life. Just when things start to look like they might be improving, some problem comes up. A new bill arrives. Sam needs to go to the doctor, or perhaps the car needs repair. Sam's finances just never seem to improve.
John lives with his mom and has a daughter named Tiffany that he rarely sees. John's daughter lives with his ex. He got into an argument with his mom again today about something petty, probably about cleaning the house again. John's short temper hinders his ability to have meaningful relationships with the people in his life.
These people could have much improved lives, but their brains aren't functioning as well as they could be. Have you ever questioned whether your brain is functioning effectively?
In our examples, these people are not stupid. Their brains aren't broken or damaged. The problem stems from their thoughts not be organized as they could be. The first step is recognizing there is a reoccurring life problem, and that it can be improved.
There can be many reasons for us not dealing with a reoccurring life problem. Maybe the problem has been there so long that we simply see it as a part of life. We may see it as unavoidable. Maybe we feel frustrated and helpless. Maybe we don't clearly understand the problem, or it could be complicated with multiple parts. Or maybe we believe someone else is to blame for the persistence of the problem. Though, even if it's true that someone else is the blame for a problem, there are often steps that can be taken to significantly minimize the problem.
In dealing with problems, we must first recognize the problem. Acknowledge it, and begin to define it. Write these things down. Does it occur at specific times? Does it occur only with specific people? Is there some action we do or event that regularly occurs before the problem begins?
We should have a pencil and paper, and write down everything we can to define the problem. Take 15 to 30 minutes out of your day to focus and write. Define the problem clearly. Focus on what behaviors we are doing that reinforce and escalate the problem.
After defining the problem and our involvement, we can start imagining ways that we can behave differently. Behaving differently doesn't guarantee that the problem will be solved, but behaving the same as we did before ensures that the problem won't be solved.
"If you do what you've always done, then you'll get what you've always gotten" - Tony Robbins
When we imagine ways that we can behave differently, we must not limit ourselves. We may ask ourselves, "How would my favorite movie actor behave in this situation?". Or we could imagine, "How would someone with excellent skills behave in this situation?". Try emulating what the ideal person would do. If that doesn't work, then try something else. Anything else. We will notice, as our behavior changes, so will the behavior of others around us.
Sometimes problems can be quite difficult to overcome. We must see the problem as solvable. We must commit to being able to preserver, and imagine how our life will be better when our situation is improved. Don't stop modifying behavior, and keep changing as needed to until we achieve a desirable outcome.
"Figure out what works, and do it" - The incredibly successful leader of Singapore, Lee Kuan Yew
Simply practicing these steps will help us develop improved relationships and more effective brain patterns. As life becomes more stable, this leads to reduced stress levels, and gives us time for more desirable things in life.
In the end, doing these steps are not a cure all solution, and we will still have very difficult obstacles in life. Having problems is just part of life, and everyone has them. Obstacles in life allow us to grow and define our character. But our goal here is to help minimize those problems which are reoccurring and unnecessary. Those problems which we have some influence over. I encourage you to use your influence, and change your life for the better.
If you've reached this point, you may want to bookmark this page so that you can come back again. We can use this knowledge to foresee future problems right as they are occurring. If you're experiencing a new reoccurring problem in life, perhaps it's happened 2 or 3 or 4 times already. You must train yourself to see these as they are happening. It's like a magic power to change the future. When you see the reoccurring problem beginning, you can change your behavior immediately.
It's important to stop them as soon as possible, because bad habits can be hard to break. Avoid developing bad habits of behavior from the very start. If you notice a reoccurring problem, an alarm should go off in your brain that says, "Hey, I've seen this pattern before, and it's not good. I need to change what I'm doing here".
Blessings, VidarReturns
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