A Feeling-to-Behavior Pattern is any situation where we react automatically to stress, anxiety, or other negative emotion by engaging in a self-soothing but also self-harming behavior (like eating junk food, smoking, or lashing out at others). Everyone has these kinds of patterns and they often occur unconsciously because our mind is trying to protect us from what it perceives as a threat. The trouble is the behaviors we use to tamp down our emotional energy, while helpful in the short-term, creates unintended difficulties in the long-term.
For example, a person that stress-eats sweets may find relief in the present moment but over years can develop health complications like diabetes or weight gain which creates even more difficulties in their life. Here is a useful technique to interrupt Feeling-to-Behavior Patterns and create a space where you can choose to act consciously in a way that honors your body and your mind. Plan ahead by having a list of new, conscious behaviors you wish to replace the old, unconscious behaviors with and begin implementing them today!
First, use your imagination to create a visualization or mental image for the stress or other emotions you experience. Convert what you feel in your body to something you can visualize with your mind. For example, if you feel uneasiness in the pit of your stomach, close your eyes and turn that feeling into a dark, swirling mist. Perhaps you experience a tightness in your shoulders or feel a surge of emotional energy. Try visualizing churning water or dark storm clouds rolling in. The most effective techniques draw from personal experience or use imagery that resonates.
In your mind, see yourself in the midst of whatever visualization you create. For example, if you choose swirling mist then let the mist be all around you. Feel it brushing by you and curling around your arms and legs. If you chose churning water, you could see yourself standing in a rushing river with water gurgling up and lapping at your legs. Whatever you choose, make the conversion from physical energy to mental energy as real as possible by bringing in as many senses as you can. Incorporate smells, sounds, whatever you can to immerse yourself in the visualization you create. This may seem awkward or even challenging the first time you do it but it will absolutely get easier with each successive time.
Then, once you are really immersed in the imagination-form of the stress or emotions you were experiencing, visualize a massive, shining pillar rising up from the midst of the stress, negativity, or anxiety. Watch it climb, higher and higher until it’s so high up that you can’t even see the top. And then, as simply as a balloon rises, begin to fly up towards the top of it. As you rise above the swirling mist, churning waters, storm clouds, etc. look down and notice how the scene changes as you get further and further away. It gets smaller, less powerful, becomes less capable of effecting you directly. It simply becomes a scene in the distance. When you reach the top, rest and congratulate yourself on successfully making it through your flight.
Perhaps there is a leather recliner, maybe a beach towel laid out on warm sand or a comfortable bean bag chair -create the most welcoming, soothing situation and settle in, relaxed. Look down from the pillar at the barely visible scene you had created and notice how different you feel so far above the pesky emotions or feelings that had been all around you moments before. In the new space you have created for yourself, address the behavior or pattern you are seeking to change.
For this example we’ll stick with stress-eating. Once you arrive atop the pillar look down at the visualization you created and talk to yourself about food. Remind yourself that food is fuel for your body, that eating in response to an emotion or emotions is not a decision you desire to make any longer. Take some time to let the peace, stillness, and calm you’ve created seep from your mind into your body. Feel the tension or stress begin to dissipate. When you open your eyes, you will be fully in control of your next move and the pull towards the old habit you are replacing will have faded. Have a new behavior to replace the old one with such as going for a short walk, drinking a glass of clean water, or taking ten deep breaths and expressing gratitude for something in your life.
The wonderful thing about this technique is that it stacks. That means every time you use it and regain your center during a stressful or emotional situation, your brain adds another file in a new drawer in your mind. Every time you use it, the drawer gets fuller! This not only makes recreating the experience in the future easier and more automatic, it also provides validation that the technique is effective (making you more likely to use it in the future and achieve a positive result with it again and again!) Over time, this technique can become so second nature that it happens unconsciously without you having to even close your eyes and consciously visualize. When this happens, congratulations, you have replaced an automatic stress-response with a new, conscious one.
If you were looking for a way to handle automatic behavior or unconscious habits, I hope you found this helpful!!