It's been some time since my last time here.
I stopped to write my thoughts because I didn't have anything special to give to you. But now I want to tell you what happened to me and what this fucking problem shows to me and changed the way I saw the life.
I left school. It was a level 5 course that will gives me the knowledge to get a job in programming.
I tried to stay connected on programming and I study every single day to follow my dream.
Time flies and my family started "hating me" and ignoring what I say, what I feel ... so I stay alone with my thoughts and just that.
My family were all against me because "I don't want to work or study". Please family ,you destroyed me and my life. Miss you dad :(
So, time flies again and I got a depression. I felt so anger of my my life and I started to kick a mirror in my bedroom because I hated the image of me but it never broke.
One day I broke a glass board and my mom tried to talk to me and get from me what was happening with me . I was so bad and I remember that I said to her: I'll take my own life and she said to me " I wont feel bad for it, you know what you do. Fuck!!!!!
She called my grandfather and him and my brother hit me! OMG was so fucking horrible and my girlfriend watched the horror :(
Since that moment I am the bastard of family but I learnt that I don't need them to stay motivated to life and follow my dreams.