Once upon a time…
There was a guy that was so much in love with a beautiful ‘bae’…
This bae was so beautiful that she was scripturally described as ‘…a sister who was VERY attractive…’ (2Sam 13:1 MSG)
I doubt if you understand the kind of beauty I’m talking about here.
I’m referring to a kind of Beauty that made this guy fall sick!
This guy ‘…became so obsessed with her that he became ill…’ (2Sam 13:2 NLT)
Oh what a ‘love’!
His obsession was not just because she was beautiful…
She was also ‘untouched’!
In scriptural terminology…she was a ‘virgin’! (2Sam 13:2)
This guy was just the fulfilment of the prophecy by a Nigerian artist: ‘…I dey mad over you girl…’!
This lady happened to be the ‘half-sister’ of this guy!
Same father….different mothers.
Yet this had NO influence on controlling his affection for this lady …who was actually stunningly ‘attractive’!
Hmm…
This guy had a friend who came visiting and noticed him depressed.
Friend: ‘Guy, wetin dey do you wey your face be like this…’? (2Sam 13:4 Dammy’s Standard Version - DSV)
Guy: ‘ Na that Babe o…I don’t mind giving her ‘assurance’ just to have her…’ (2Sam 13:4 DSV)
Friend: ‘…SMH, so na dat one con dey disturb you like dat? Shior…simple matter jare….just pretend as if you are really sick…and plead with your dad that it is that your ‘half-sister’ that should please bring your drugs and prepare your food in your presence…when she comes…then finish the matter…’! (2Sam 13:5 DSV)
Guy: ‘…omo…see nice idea!...’ (2Sam 13:6)
The guy was able to trick his father that he was really sick and the father sent for the babe to come and attend to her ‘half-brother’…
Hmm…
When she came and gave him food…he refused to eat….but instead requested that she should ensure there was no one in the house! (2Sam 13:9)
This desperate guy now took it a step further by pretending that the ‘parlour’ was not comfortable for him to eat but she should please bring the food into the ‘bedroom’ so he can eat it conveniently on the bed since he is sick! (2Sam 13:10)
The drama began in the next verse:
‘…She took the nourishing dumplings she had prepared and brought them to her brother Amnon IN HIS BEDROOM. But when she got ready to feed him, he grabbed her and said, “Come to bed with me, sister!”…’ (2Sam 13:11 MSG)
Oh no…
This Babe was like: ‘hey! Guy, this will bring shame on me in this city….and you will be disgraced as a ‘rapist’ in this city! Why not simply talk to our Daddy and he will simply allow you to MARRY me’! (2Sam 13:12-13 DSV)
Story story….
‘…But he wouldn’t listen. Being much stronger than she, he RAPED her…’ (2Sam 13:14 MSG)
Pathetic….
But there is something more pathetic that happened in this story as shown in the next verse!
‘…No sooner had he raped her than he hated her—an immense hatred. THE HATRED THAT HE FELT FOR HER WAS GREATER THAN THE LOVE HE’D HAD FOR HER. “Get up,” he said, “AND GET OUT!”…’ (2Sam 13:15 MSG)
Oh!
I thought this guy LOVED her!
A ‘love’ that made him sick initially.
A ‘love’ that got him so depressed that it could be read on his face by his friend!
Now he ‘hated’ her so much that the hatred measured FAR ABOVE the ‘love’ he had for her initially!
What a dishonour!
She pleaded that he should not discard her just like that….’ But he wouldn’t listen to her. He called for his valet (servant). “Get rid of this woman. Get her out of my sight! And lock the door after her.” The valet threw her out and locked the door behind her…’ (2Sam 13:17 MSG)
What a touching story.
Hmm…
The following are 3 lessons I intend every reader will get from this story:
- -INFATUATION is not same as LOVE: Everyone was created with an attraction for the opposite sex. But this attraction has 2 options to choose from: CONTROLLED or UNCONTROLLED. A ‘controlled’ attraction gradually leads to LOVE while an ‘uncontrolled’ affection is simply INFATUATION! This guy was ‘mad over this girl’ but that is NOT love! Falling sick for a girl is NOT love! ‘…if I don’t see you, I can’t eat or sleep…’ is NOT love! Those are simply natural affections that MUST be controlled! This was why it eventually ended up in ‘hatred greater than initial love’! That is the clear result of INFATUATION! It never lasts. It wants everything NOW! As in NOW NOW NOW!!! Every believer should be able to know when what they are feeling is an ‘infatuation’ or is ‘love’.
‘…Love is PATIENT, love is kind…’ (1Cor 13:4)
Patience is an acid test to ‘love’ among friends… and a ‘controlled’ attraction is a fruit of patience. A relationship/marriage built on ‘infatuation’ stands a higher chance to be threatened with break-up/divorce options. This guy was ‘lost’ in ‘lust’. He chose not to ‘control’ his affection and ended up in a life of sin!
- -Your FRIEND can determine your END: If this guy had surrounded himself with godly friends, he would have got a better advice from a wiser friend. The Bible described his friend as ‘…a very SUBTLE man..’ (2Sam 13:3). The Message Bible says this friend ‘…was exceptionally streetwise.’ (2Sam 13:3 MSG). Listen, no believer should be scared to break WRONG FRIENDSHIPS! Friendship is not by force, friendship is always by choice. The company you keep determines what will ACCOMPANY YOU IN LIFE’! Your friends reflect your future. If you indeed want to glorify God in this life, your choice of friendship must be consciously determined!
‘He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.’ (Proverbs 13:20)
You can have normal ‘social interaction’ with sinners….but never have a negative ‘influential interaction’ with them. We don’t run from sinners as believers…we rather INFLUENCE them with the life of Christ. Your inner circle of friendship must be a wise and godly company. Unbelievers can take the secondary circle. Jesus was tagged: ‘a friend of sinners’ (Luke 7:34), but those were not his primary circle of friendship! They were secondary. He is the one to influence them on godly and moral issues and not the other way round. Any circle of friendship that clearly shows to overpower your godly influence MUST be broken! (Prov 1:10, 28:4)
- –Love FREELY but Trust SENSITIVELY: That Lady trusted his ‘half-brother’ so much! There was no iota of sensitivity in all her decisions. From the call for her to serve him, to the preparing of the food in the guy’s house, to the request to get rid of everyone around, to the request to bring it to the bedroom…at no point did she have a ‘re-thought’ on what was going on! She was just ‘TRUSTING’ all the way!
‘…A prudent man FORESEETH the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple PASS ON, and are punished…’ (Prov 22:3)
There are ‘prudent’ Christians and there are ‘simple’ Christians. The simple only LOVES FREELY…while the prudent both loves freely and also TRUSTS SENSITIVELY! This is where following the lead of Holy Spirit comes in. Every believer should learn to be sensitive to the leading of Holy Spirit. Even in spiritual matters, don’t be so zealous that you ignore the leading of Holy Spirit! He is always watching over you and desires you follow His leading. For example, we are all called to spread the Gospel but always know that you are a ‘steward’ under the control of the Master – Holy Spirit! You might want to go preach in a place and Holy Spirit will say NO! But your over-zealousness will not allow you hear Him.
‘…Their plan was to turn west into Asia province, but THE HOLY SPIRIT BLOCKED THAT ROUTE. So they went to Mysia and tried to go north to Bithynia, BUT THE SPIRIT OF JESUS WOULDN’T LET THEM GO THERE EITHER…’ (Acts 16:7-8 MSG)
That beautiful lady meant well but lacked inner sensitivity to tell her to stop or shun the requests. It was ‘normal’ for a sister to attend to her sick ‘half-brother’, but in this case, it was ABNORMAL! If only she was sensitive enough, she would have overcome the situation from the onset. As believers, we have Holy Spirit in us…and this should influence our decisions. Remember, Love FREELY but Trust SENSITIVELY.
In conclusion, that guy ended up dying for his action, and guess who announced his misery to the father? His Friend! (2Sam 13:32-33)
Remember, your Friend can determine your end! INFATUATION is not same as LOVE! And Love FREELY but Trust SENSITIVELY!
Amen.
