don't think it's a fear of losing control of Themselves that makes a narcissist so controlling, because they don't know who they are. They're a mirror reflection of all the different people they feed off of. It's the Fear of losing CONTROL over the people they have Power over in their lives, that terrifies them… Failure is not an option for a narcissist.
Narcs use people for constant Supply to keep themselves always comfortably elevated above everyone else. They want to be the puppet master pulling all the strings and the Ringleader of their own show.
They have to be the center of attention wherever they go. They cannot live without the Drama and the Chaos they create! It's like taking away the air they breathe... They thrive on it!
They have such a drive to be in charge and to Lord over the people in their lives. For them to lose control, is the equivalent of losing Power and becoming something Less Immortal, like a smaller, weakened human being… Which to them, would be pitiful.
A narc could never accept that reality, or believe that Less is MORE, because they’re ALL about becoming the Best and getting MORE of everything they want in life…
GREED is their CREED… Power is their Purpose!
This makes them incapable of Acknowledging Defeat, taking Responsibility or accepting the Consequences for any of their actions. They'll blame the victim and find another source of supply…
NPD is a deeply dysfunctional, destructive pattern of thinking. And unfortunately, for everyone involved—it's never-ending…
I realized the Full and Powerful Truth of these words when I finally left my ex-husband for good. He believed he was the center of the universe and liked to play God in our lives, especially mine.
He treated me like nothing and like I was lucky to breathe the same air as him. When I finally got the courage to leave and moved far away, he told me to go, he was happy and wanted a divorce. Then he started texting me a few weeks later. When I didn't return his texts, he sent me several more and finally one that said, “If you don't reply to this text, I WILL NEVER CONTACT YOU AGAIN and I want nothing more to do with you.”
I didn't reply to that text either. 3 days later, he tried to call, but was blocked. When he couldn't reach me by phone, he sent me another text asking if we could talk. When I didn't reply to that text, he sent me a lengthy email asking me for another chance... Sorry Charlie, that ship's sailed!
It was a total breakthrough though and a revelation for me to realize that he'd Always needed me more than I needed him. It made it easier for me to accept who he really was and how small he was without his Control over me. It made it easier for me to Let Go and finally move on with my life. It also helped reestablish for me, that I was still someone Worth hanging onto and not so worthless after all…
I hope this can be a lesson to the rest of you who’ve been in the same boat or are looking to abandon ship and still searching for answers. The same experience and application holds true with all narcissists… Take Back Control and move on with your own lives and you'll see the Truth quite clearly.
