One of the first things I did not know when I checked my phone for messages. A fairly mundane task that most of you can probably relate to. Waiting for me was a message about the death of friend. Not a great way to start the day, I'll be honest with you. Another brother in arms lost the battle with his demons last night, and is with us no more.
That brings the total to seven.
Seven ex-servicemen that I know who have survived the war, only to succumb to their wounds once they came home. Wounds that can not be seen but that are real none the less. It's a depressing number. What is more, it is more of a reality than that, but it is the first thing that makes it so commonplace that its almost mundane.
Another one dead. ........ At least I'll get to wear my new suit ... ..
It scares me how normal it feels.
But it should not be so normal. So, in memory of my fallen brother, I'm going to write about PTSD today. Hopefully by doing so I can be able to do
At the bottom of this link is a YouTube video that explains PTSD. It breaks down in some detail the way a modern military prepares its soldiers for war, and the unintended consequences of some of these things. Preparing a soldier to fight in a normal way.
As with all things related to mental illness, what I found this video extremely powerful. I'll go so far as to say that I did not really understand what. It is just one man's interpretation of PTSD and it's a particular Australian one at that, but I found it extremely useful.
The presenter starts with a discussion of his experience in Vietnam and talks about writing letters home. The more traumatic his experiences became, the less he wrote, and the more mundane were the details that he described. This corresponds very closely to my own experiences in Afghanistan. I kept a diary of my experiences for the first few months, and then about 2 and 1/2 months in, I stopped writing and never started again.
I have never opened that diary to this day.
Its strange, and fascinating in a morbid kind of way, the manner in which the traumatic traumatic experiences. Originally recorded to assist Vietnam veterans, it has become a reality 20 years ago.
If you are a veteran, then I can strongly recommend this as a great resource. Similarly, if you would like to know more about this topic, just out of general interest, then you may also find it interesting.
Content warning! This is a very old video and it shows its age. Its also a little slow to start with. For the first minute or so I encourage you to enjoy the throwback 90's fashions, and the quaint technology used in the presentation. Bear with the scratchy production values, however, the content is truly worth your time.
To finish where, I started I'd like to dedicate this post to my friend Jude. A nicer and more genuine guy you will never meet. I'm sorry brother, for sinking the white ball in the final of our squadron pool competition. You pretended you did not care, but I never really thought about it. Wherever you are tonight I hope you are resting in peace.