Where I come from, South-West Nigeria, we throw the best wedding parties, hands down, no contest. As a Yoruba boy the owanbe spirit is in my DNA. Hence, the popular saying 'Saturdays are for Owanbe'
Even me, myself I'm an owanbe king😀 forget!
Now to the list proper...
1.The ones that came to slay with aso-ebi
These set consist mainly of female folk who have come to show off the latest style in vogue
Generally referred to as 'slay queens'
2.The party crashers
Where I come from, these one are popularly referred to as 'mogbo moya' (I hear, I come). They have no idea whatsoever what the party is about, neither do they know the bride nor the groom, they are mostly just there for the food
They will act like they know what's up
Because famzing is their talent.
But they are there and they will eat more than invited guests and get souvenirs.
3.The men that came to catch babes
These ones in technical terms are referred to as 'Yoruba Demons'. They silently survey the owanbe crowd to spot single ladies who will be their next heart break victim. They are mostly active when the bouquet is about to be thrown by the bride with their sharp eyes moving to and fro faster than the speed of light. They are easily recognized in their well tailored agbada, full beards and dark shades. Here we can see them adopting the 4-3-3 heartbreaking attack formation.
Sometimes they wear suits too
Those of us that have seen the wedding party would know this guy😉
- The babes that came to catch man
Just as there are yoruba demons out to break hearts, there are ladies ready to beat them at their game. These ones come with the intention of being wooed and adding to their maga collection. You see them having really weird contact names on their phones, Gboyega Uber, Yemi KFC, Tolu Chocolate, Femi fuel, Chinedu subscription, based on the service the guy is rendering...
5.The women that came to pack meat and five alive for their kids at home.
These ones have their hand slide game more on point than the magicians in the movie 'Now you see me'. The speed at which they move stuff from the table into their bags is very impressive, I mean, you don't even see the drinks or meat move, they are just gone and you start wondering how Mama Sikira was able to drink 2 bottles of wine and 3 cans of malt and swallowed the cans and bottles in less than 2 minutes, and why suddenly, there is no meat on her food anymore
6.The ones that came to evaluate the brides attire
These female folks are just at the wedding for the purpose of weighing the cost of the brides wears. They can stare at the bride from head to toe and know the cost of everything she has on. In their heads they have stored the cost price of every designer product. The main topic for discussion at their table is to analyze the bride, from her hairdo, to make up, her jewelry and her shoes. Technically they are called 'bridal haters'
- The ones that are there for the gram
These people just attend the owanbe for the purpose of updating their social media pages. It's also very normal to see them going into the toilet several times during the party to adjust their face art and take toilet mirror selfies. Their social media accounts may be silent all week but will get updates flooding them on Saturdays. So many pictures and videos. Their Snapchat stories, WhatsApp stories, Instagram stories will be on fire for the day
You see them having so many updates on their WhatsApp stories during the wedding, their stories be looking like thread stitches on a piece of fabric
The #OboloGang
These ones only came for one reason
FOOD!The #MoneyGang
They are the E-Money folks always parading dance floors with wads of cash lavishly spraying on people
These days they own instruments of mass oppression known as money guns to spray the cash when it's too much.
- The flex guys
These ones are just here for the cruise. Usually settled in a separate corner from most people and you know, just stay chilled and laid back getting VIP treatment
Yeah! We dey here✌
