For several reasons it's been a rough few months, that's life. Equally, because I have no expectation that I should be happy on a daily basis, I embrace and learn from my every mood state. If I'm feeling down then I will transfer my mind frame into a writing subject that a state of happiness and optimism may preclude me from exploring, and vice versa. Discounting depression; (which is something I'm grateful I don't suffer from) we have been taught to run from our fears and hide from our cycles of negativity. In reality, I feel such cycles need to be faced, aknowledged and learned from.
Within these moments I observe the rise and fall of the seasons and the waxing and waning of our mighty tides. Like the ebb and flow of the oceans, when held in natures embrace I begin to understand that my moods have a symbiotic connection with the life pulse of the earth; breathe in, breathe out. As I float free with the tides of mood and refuse to fight against it's cognitive undercurrents, I begin to realise that in some strange way a part of me welcomes these transient moments of self abandonment.
And now as the tide begins to turn and once again lap against the shore of my life, I realise that during those moments floundering in it's murky depths I was actually searching for (and finding) lost treasures of self realisation. Walking through a psychological hall of mirrors, my macro consciousness existing outside (and learning from) the shattered image that the mirror reflects back on me.
Wild Camp With Me
As the tide began to rise, life granted me some elusive free time and I grasped it with open arms! I booked a cottage in the middle of nowhere and decided to split my time between there and (as per my title picture) a spot of wild camping. I spent a lot of my wild youth running from the Babylon, knocking around free festivals, illegal raves and squat parties (riots, raves and close shaves!) and generally had a brilliant time; I drank from the well of excess but in all honesty (as a teetotal 40 something) nothing ever sated my thirst for life like a hike or a night spent under the stars. These hills, valleys and rivers are my club, my rave and my church .. and I'll protect this earth until my dying breath.
That said, all this talk of my fading youth has put me in the mood for a bit of music.
There is something so self-empowering about being at one with the land; working with it and reading it, alas in this era of digital daydreams it's also an understanding that increasingly absent from our lives. Whilst our palaces of pleasure may fall to the sand, there will always be earth to muddy my hands.
Nature might be my church; but she is also my nurturer, and within a few fleeting hours the fading vestiges of my negativity have been set free, cast to the four winds and carried away on the warm summer breeze. I ponder many perspectives and gratefully acknowledge that we're artists within the tapestry of life, Mozarts of mind manifestation. Equally, I lament that a sizeable majority appear asleep at the wheel of life.
I understand that by virtue of the nature of reality; that there can be neither finality or the ultimate darkness we've all been taught to fear. I understand that within our physical expression of the macrocosm of universal law it's always darkest before dawn. I understand that ultimately once this cycle plays out we will find balance within ourselves and the world at large. Where I differ from some, is that I refuse to encase myself in a utopian bubble whilst the bombs rain down and the world and it's inhabitants suffer at the hands of abuse and degredation.
Whilst people starve we will all grow spiritually malnourished, there will be no freedom until we are all free, and that people will remain unbalanced until the world is in balance. On the macro scale everything works itself out; but equally, at the micro level we inhabit, our choices within this moment in time are profoundly important. I feel that we each have a responsibility to least attempt to leave the world a better place than the one we were born into. That whilst the only thing you really have any complete control over is the ability to change yourself, by changing ourselves we may just change the world. For better or worse; our thoughts and the choices and decisions we make within this life will echo through the halls of eternity until there is no man left to hear them, so let's be mindful of our intent.
On days like these, the loneliness of these hills and valleys greets me like a delicate symphony of silence. Even my old dog is out and raring to go; fifteen years old and still going strong, I wonder if I'll still be hill walking at 105 years old?!
And so as the sun sets on another day, it's time to leave my thoughts and head back to my camp. But if you wish, I'll be back to share the rest of journey.
Written by perceptualflaws
Original pictures by perceptualflaws
Banner Gifs courtesy of Hive account@justcallmemyth
